A Family
by FictionWriter91
Summary: In 2012, Clint comes home to find Laura gone. Desperate, he calls Natasha for help, and she's there in a heartbeat. After getting him on his feet, Nat realizes that she wants to be a part of his family, but can she let herself be vulnerable enough to admit it and also let Clint really see her? Will they be able to endure the challenges thrown their way? Will they survive Thanos?
1. Nobody Answered When I Called Your Name

**Hey all. This is another idea that floated through my mind today, so I thought I'd write it out. Maybe it's dumb, but I hope you give it a try. It may or may not get Clintasha-y. I haven't decided yet. It will start before the first Avengers movie, and I may go through the other Avenger films as well. Happy reading! Don't forget to let me know what you think at the end :)**

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**2012-Before the Events of New York**

Laura looked around at the house, wondering if she was crazy. Was she doing the right thing? She fingered her coat gingerly. He would probably hate her, and she understood. She just couldn't do it anymore. She felt like a fraud in this life for a few years now, but she was too afraid to be honest. She's sure he would have understood if she had just talked to him, but every time she thought of telling him, she'd freeze up and think about the consequences. She opened the front door, taking one final look at her home. Maybe it was the coward's way out, but she couldn't bear to see his reaction, to feel his pain. He had support. He'd be all right. He'd be better off without her. She stepped onto the porch and went down the steps, feeling her heart pounding. She was doing this, really doing this. It was terrifying but exhilarating. She hurried over to her car and pulled open the door, sliding inside. She put the keys in the ignition and paused for a moment. Her children would suffer the most because they'd never understand. She had left them letters too, trying to explain it wasn't their fault, that she loved them but just needed to follow her dreams as she would want them to someday. She started the car, feeling herself begin to cry a little. No looking back. That was the promise she'd made to herself. It was time for a clean break, a new life. She pulled out of the driveway and never looked back.

**Clint **

He stopped at home first before going to pick up the kids from school and pre school. He knew Laura wasn't fond of his work, and she wanted him to quit. He wasn't sure why he couldn't just offer her that.

"Hello?" he called, coming inside. It was quiet, too quiet. He looked around, puzzled. Laura was usually somewhere in the house and would come to the door when he came home.

"Laura?"

He stepped forward slowly, doing a survey of the place. She was not there. Perhaps she was outside. Then he realized her car wasn't in the driveway. How had he missed that in the first place? She must have just gone out for the afternoon. Was she going to pick up the kids? She hadn't said anything. He decided to enjoy the moment's peace. Sure, he loved Laura and the kids' noise, but sometimes he appreciated hearing his own thoughts for a moment without the pressure of life and death attached to it. He went upstairs to put away his work equipment. He securely stored his bow and arrows to keep them safe from Cooper, who was getting into everything it seemed. Lila was beginning to copy him. At six and four years old, they were like small monkeys just getting into trouble. Clint changed into jeans and a t-shirt, throwing a plaid long sleeve shirt over top and was adjusting it when he saw the note on the bed on top of some other papers. Frowning, he bent to pick it up.

_Dear Clint,_

_I don't even know how to begin. For a while now, I have been struggling with what feels like everything. I lost my identity somewhere along the way of this journey we are on together, and a part of me really wants to get it back. Actually, all of me wants to get it back. I never knew how to tell you. I never wanted to disappoint you or upset you, but I've realized now that it's not fair to me to hide these feelings. It's not fair to you either. I know that if you were feeling this way, I'd want you to do something about it. I wouldn't hold you back. I'm not trying to condone what I'm doing here as I know it's a really shitty thing I'm doing to you and Cooper and Lila, but I just can't do this anymore, Clint. I can't. I know this is the coward's way out, but I'm already gone. I'm sorry that this is the only goodbye I could give you. I'm sorry I'm such a coward. I love Cooper and Lila, Clint, and I love you. I just can't be a part of this family anymore. I hope someday you'll understand. I've left divorce papers for you to sign, and when they're ready, there are letters for Cooper and Lila too. I'm sorry._

_Laura_

Clint stared at the piece of paper with the horrible words in his hand as he started to tremble. He read it again, and again. He sank down onto the edge of the bed, staring at the wall. Laura was gone. Laura abandoned them. Laura left the kids. Laura left him. He looked over at the other papers, not even wanting to read them. She had started divorce proceedings? She had signed them?! He felt betrayed and outraged. His blood was boiling. Then he felt incredibly sad. What was he going to tell the kids?

**Natasha **

She cracked her knuckles as she circled the punching bag. This was her new way of releasing all her anger and sorrow from her past. She was trying not to think about her upcoming mission. She was trying not to think about anything. She charged the bag, throwing her punches into it hard. She imagined every person who had ever hurt her as she swung and punched.

"I hope my face isn't on there," Fury's voice said behind her. She turned, smirking at him.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Don't stay too late," he warned, pointing at her.

"Me? Nah," she said, waving her hand. She heard Fury chuckle as he walked away. She stayed until it was after six. She was packing up when her phone rang. She smiled when she saw who it was.

"Let me guess, you bombed your mission and need me to clean up the pieces for you," she teased.

"Tasha, I need you," Clint said, his voice thick with emotion. She paused, feeling bad for teasing him now.

"Okay. When and where?"

"My place. Now," he answered.

"See you soon," she promised. They hung up, and she hurried out to her vehicle. He sounded distraught. She hoped nothing had happened to his family.

**Clint's Home**

He had picked up the kids from school, and they wanted to know when Mom was coming home. He had put it off, but they were insistent. He couldn't lie to them. He just couldn't. He had fumbled the delivery, though. Badly. He had no idea how to start a conversation like that. Now, they wouldn't stop crying. In desperation, he'd called the only other person he could ever rely on: Natasha Romanoff.

"Clint?" Nat's voice said as she came into the house. He met her at the door, steering her to the other room while Cooper and Lila were still crying with each other on the floor of the living room.

"What the hell happened?" she demanded. "Clint?"

He stood in front of her, feeling broken. He clenched his jaw five times to stop from crying himself before he could talk.

"Laura's gone," he said hoarsely. Nat's eyes reflected shock.

"What? Gone where?" she asked.

"She left. She said she can't do this anymore," Clint answered. Nat felt sucker punched. How could Laura do such a thing to her family?!

"Oh my God," Nat breathed. Then it hit her. "You told the kids? Clint, why would you tell them right away?"

"They kept asking for her. I didn't know what to say. I told them first that she was just out and would be back later, but they wanted to know when later, and I blurted it out. Tasha, I messed it up so bad," Clint said, his voice cracking now.

"Their mother abandoned them. It's messed up no matter what you could have said," Nat assured him. "But I think you should have waited a little. Come on." She went to where Cooper and Lila were sniffling and whimpering and sat on the floor with them.

"Hey, guys," she said. Lila crawled into her lap and buried her face into her stomach. Cooper sat and stared at her. Nat looked up at Clint, who didn't know what to say to make anything better.

"Mummy's gone," Lila eventually said, muffled by Nat's sweater. Nat picked her up so she was in her arms properly and hugged her tightly.

"I know, sweetheart, but it's going to be okay."

"How?"

"We'll figure it out together, okay?"

"Okay."

Cooper still hadn't said anything. In fact, he had stopped making any sound altogether. Nat recognized the shock in his eyes. Cooper was going to be a bit numb for a while.

"Do you wanna color for me?" Nat asked Lila, who nodded slowly. "Okay, go get your books and crayons." Lila untangled herself from Nat and ran off to find them.

"Cooper?" Clint asked, but Cooper didn't respond. The boy got up carefully and went to his room, closing the door behind him.

"He's in shock," Nat reasoned.

"Oh God, Tasha, I did this wrong, so wrong. I can't do this," he said, beginning to hyperventilate. "I can't be a single Dad, not with my career. I can't, Tasha, I can't. Five minutes alone with them, and I already screwed up!"

"Clint, breathe," Nat said, gripping his shoulders as he started panicking. He grabbed her hands with his tightly as she squeezed his shoulders.

"I can't."

"In through your nose," Nat ordered, and Clint obeyed. "Okay, now out with your mouth."

He sputtered and whistled, the air coming out in choppy chunks.

"You can do better than that," she said firmly. "Again." He reluctantly obliged, still not exhaling smoothly. She made him do it ten times before he was doing it more easily.

"Nat," he started after.

"No," she interrupted. "You have to keep it together. At least in front of the children. You can't be upset in front of them because it will only enhance their panic and emotions."

"What am I gonna do?" he asked. "Nat, what am I gonna do?"

"Color with me, Auntie Nat," Lila said, returning with two books and her box of crayons. Nat gave Clint a meaningful look to stop him from bursting into anymore tears.

"Sure, honey," Nat told her. She turned to Clint again. "We will talk once they're asleep, okay?"

"Okay," he agreed.

"Now go cook something," she ordered, releasing him. He did as he was told, walking like a zombie over to the kitchen. Nat got onto her stomach beside Lila on the floor and started coloring with her. She felt a bit panicked herself. How was Clint going to manage this on his own? She wasn't sure if she'd be the best support for him.

...

"Time to eat, sweetheart," Clint said to Lila, who jumped to her feet. She grabbed his hand and went to her seat at the table. Clint knew she was scared he was going to leave her too. He really hated Laura in this moment for doing this to them. Nat got up, groaning from the cramps in her legs and arms from being on the floor.

"I'll get Cooper," she offered since Lila had a death grip on Clint's arm after she had sat down.

"Okay," Clint agreed, sitting down beside Lila. She still wouldn't let go.

Nat gently knocked on Cooper's bedroom door. She heard stirring inside, but he didn't answer.

"Hey, buddy," she said. "You wanna eat?"

"Go away."

"You want me to bring you something?"

"I said, go away!"

"Okay," Nat replied, slowly backing away and returning to the table. Clint looked at her hopefully when she appeared, but she just shook her head. She sat on the other side of Lila and tried to eat. The pasta was sitting in her stomach like glue.

"I gotta feed your brother," Clint said to Lila. "Can you let me do that please?"

Lila gave him a solemn look, still hanging onto him.

"I'm coming right back. I promise," he added. Nat felt her heart break for this little girl, who reluctantly let go of Clint's arm. He stood and put some pasta into a bowl and went over to Cooper's room.

Lila pushed hers away from her and rested her chin on her hands.

"You okay?" Nat asked her.

"I'm sad," Lila answered.

"I know."

"You're not going to leave are you?" Lila asked anxiously. Nat considered this for a moment. She couldn't exactly commit, especially with upcoming work, but she didn't want to make Lila any more sad than she already was.

"I'll stay for a little bit," Nat replied.

"Okay."

Clint returned, sighing heavily. He set the untouched bowl on the table and put his head in his hands.

"Hey," Nat said, making him look up at her. "We'll get through eh? Whatever it takes."

Clint remain expressionless, but he gave a slight nod. Nat took what she could get. It was a start.

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**Should I continue?**

**If anyone is interested, check out my profile for more Avenger stories :)**


	2. Hello Heartache

**Wow, I'm so pleased to see you guys want this continued! I hope you keep finding it interesting. I'm kidding myself when I say I don't know if it's gonna end up Clintasha...I damn well know that's the ultimate endgame LOL. There is gonna be some angsty bits until it gets there, though, so you'll have to bear with me ;)**

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Bedtime proved difficult for Lila. Cooper hadn't come out of his room, and he wouldn't let anyone inside, so Clint had to give up and assume his son would be sleeping soon. He went to put Lila down, and when he didn't come back, Nat went to investigate. She found Clint lying behind Lila in her bed as she slept. He gave Nat a helpless look.

"I'm stuck," he whispered. He didn't want to move for fear of waking her up and having to go through that whole process again. Lila was very afraid of Clint leaving her too.

"Here," Nat said quietly, going to the foot of the bed and bracing herself so she could pull Clint off the end of the bed with as little movement to Lila as possible. He grabbed her hand, and she pulled him straight up. He climbed over the end and looked down at his daughter. She didn't even stir. They crept out, Clint closing the door behind him as they went.

"That was hard," he said, leaning on the wall once he closed the door.

"I know it sounds mean, but you can't do that every night," Nat said. "She needs to trust that you won't leave her."

"So what do I do? Listen to her cry and plead for me to stay?" he asked. "I can't do that. It's heartless."

"We can come up with something," Nat reasoned. "A system of some sorts that she can come check if she wakes up to see that you're still here. Maybe leave the door open so she can hear you moving around."

"Damn Laura for doing this," Clint said angrily. Nat tugged him away from Lila's door and to the living room. They sat side by side on the couch.

"Why would she leave?" Nat asked.

"I don't know! I've been wracking my brain all day trying to figure it out. I loved her. I respected her. We had fun together. We had kids together..." he trailed off. Nat squeezed his hand while he fought the tears.

"It's okay," she told him.

"What did I do wrong?" he asked, choked.

"You did nothing wrong."

"I obviously did something wrong for her to leave."

"Was there a note?" Nat questioned, changing the subject. They could go all night back and forth about how he did nothing wrong.

"Yea."

He pulled it out of his pocket and handed it to her. Nat read it quickly, feeling angry herself. How could Laura not talk to Clint about this?

"Divorce papers?" she asked, looking at him over the note. He nodded.

"The fact that she's been unhappy for so long is disturbing to me. I didn't notice, and it's not like we didn't talk, Tasha," Clint said, taking the note back and stuffing it into his pocket again.

"I don't know what to say," Nat admitted. It was very shocking.

"I know she wasn't fond of my job. We talked about my retiring. I was considering it," he explained. "I was!"

"I think this is more than just about your job or about you for that matter," Nat said, visualizing the words "I lost my identity" in her mind.

"Why didn't she tell me? We could have figured it out," Clint said, gripping his head in anguish. Nat felt bad for him. He didn't deserve to have this happen to him.

"Dad?"

Clint whirled to see Cooper standing there.

"Coop," he said, standing up.

"My nightlight broke," Cooper said.

"Okay," Clint nodded, going towards his son's room. "I'll fix it." He was just glad his son had come out of his room. He left Nat in the living room as he went to change the bulb. Cooper sat on his bed, watching.

"You all right?" Clint asked him as he untwisted the dead bulb off. He looked over at his son when Cooper did not respond. There were tears on his face.

"Oh, Coop," Clint said, going over to him and pulling him into his arms.

"It's my fault," Cooper croaked.

"No, son, it's not your fault."

"Yes, it is. I put a frog in her laundry as a joke," Cooper cried. "She didn't like it."

"Aw, Coop," Clint said, trying not to laugh despite the gravity of the situation. "No. Your mother was having her own personal problems okay? It's nothing to do with you or Lila or me."

"But why did she leave? Couldn't she have taken care of her problems here?" Cooper asked. Clint hugged him tighter.

"I don't know, bud. I don't know," he said truthfully.

"But you're an adult. You're supposed to know everything," Cooper argued.

"I wish I did, but unfortunately I don't."

"Is Aunt Nat going to stay?" Cooper asked.

"For a few days I think," Clint answered.

"Okay."

"You hungry?"

"No."

"You sure?"

"Yea."

"Okay. Let me fix this for you, and you can get settled," Clint said, moving back to the nightlight. He put the new bulb in and went to kiss Cooper's forehead once he was tucked in.

"I love you so much," Clint said fiercely. "Don't you ever forget that."

"Does Mom still love me?"

The question broke Clint's heart.

"Yes, Coop, she does. She loves all of us, but she just needs some time away."

"It doesn't make sense."

"I know it doesn't, but maybe it will soon," Clint said. Cooper closed his eyes then, and Clint reluctantly left. He rejoined Nat on the couch.

"He okay?" she asked.

"He thinks it's his fault she left," Clint answered.

"Oh no."

"I set it straight. This is gonna be hard, Tasha. I don't know how I'm supposed to stay strong when I feel like falling apart."

"Then go fall apart," Nat told him. "I'll be here if anyone needs anything." She patted the couch.

"You're not sleeping on the couch," Clint said firmly.

"I'm fine..."

"No. Come on," he said gesturing as he moved to the guest room. Nat followed, knowing that if she resisted too much he'd probably get aggressive and carry her there anyway. She preferred having her dignity.

"Whatever you need just get it, okay?" Clint said to her at the doorway.

"Okay."

"Good night."

"Good night," Nat replied. He patted the wall absently before going down to his room. Nat crawled under the sheets after turning the light off. It was going to be a tough next few days.

**Morning **

Nat awoke to the sun in her face. She squinted, annoyed. She had forgotten to pull the blinds down before going to sleep the night before, but she didn't have morning sun at her place, right? She sat up suddenly, confused before remembering where she was. The clock said seven thirty, and Nat wondered what time the kids had to go to school. She stepped out into the hallway. Her clothes were wrinkled from sleeping in them, so she smoothed them out as best as she could while she walked to the kitchen. No one was there.

"Clint?" she called softly. There was no answer. She turned and went down the hallway, checking Lila and Cooper's bedroom. They were empty. Knowing what to expect, she went to Clint's room and gently tapped the door open. She couldn't help but smile as she saw both children curled up with Clint on his bed, sleeping.

Then, something brushed past her leg.

"Oh God!" she yelped, leaping back into the hallway. Heart pounding, she looked to see a calico cat staring up at her curiously. She clutched at her heart, starting to laugh. She felt ridiculous, but when one doesn't know there's an animal in the house, one gets very surprised when it touches them out of nowhere.

"C'mere you," she said, bending down. The cat trotted over to her, meowing. Nat stroked it's fur and rubbed it's ears. She took a look at it's collar.

"Bella, eh?" she smiled. Bella bunted her hand with her head, purring.

"Oh yea," Clint said, startling Nat and making her look up at him. "We have a cat."

"I just met her."

"She's friendly enough."

"That's good."

"Sleep okay?" Nat asked him. His hair was like a demonstration of wind tunnel damage, and his white t-shirt was wrinkled while his pajama pants barely made it to his ankles. The dryer's affect Nat assumed.

"Not really," he answered, moving towards the coffee maker. Nat followed while the cat disappeared into Clint's room.

"I saw you had company. Not that I was spying. I noticed they were gone, and I wanted to make sure they were with you and didn't run away or something," Nat babbled. She clamped her mouth shut.

"Yea, they came in around three a.m.," Clint sighed. He turned to lean against the counter while waiting for the coffee maker to start. Nat took in his tired expression. She felt almost bad for having a decent night's sleep.

"Are they going to school today?" she asked.

"I don't know. It's Friday. I don't think it would matter. Then again, maybe keeping the routine is good. I don't know," Clint said, rubbing his face.

"They could try to go, and if they can't finish the day, we can pick them up," Nat offered.

"I'll ask them what they want to do."

"Mummy?" Lila's voice called.

"Oh God," Clint winced, pinching his nose. Nat braced herself. Of course the little girl would hope to see her mother here. Children held on to hope. Lila padded around the corner, looking around. Her eyes settled on Clint and Nat standing by the counter. Her bottom lip trembled.

"Mummy?" she tried again.

"She's not here, sweetheart. Remember? We talked about this yesterday," Clint said, going over to her and picking her up in his arms. Nat watched him go over to the couch and sit with her, talking quietly into Lila's ear. To Nat's surprise, Lila didn't scream or cry. She simply nodded and got off Clint's lap and went over to the table.

"Breakfast?" she asked, looking at Nat.

"What would you like, darlin'?" Nat asked, smiling at her.

"Toast!" Lila said gleefully.

"Toast it is," Nat nodded, moving to get it for her. Cooper joined them before too long. He was fully dressed and carrying his backpack.

"You wanna go to school?" Clint asked. Cooper nodded.

"Me too," Lila chimed in. Clint seemed surprised, but he didn't fight it. He wondered how long they'd last before getting upset and wanting to come home.

"All right. Eat up. We gotta go soon," Clint said. Then he looked down at himself. He was nowhere near ready to go out.

"I've got this. Go get ready," Nat said.

"Thanks," he replied, relieved. He hurried off, and Nat finished feeding the kids. Lila ran off to get dressed while Nat put lunches in their bags. Cooper just sat on the chair, waiting. When Clint came back, he was showered and shaved and looked a little more alert. He poured the coffee into a travel mug and turned to face Lila and Cooper, who were now sitting together and waiting.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Ready!" Lila answered happily. Clint was amazed she wasn't more upset. Maybe it hadn't sunk in yet. Maybe she wasn't remembering that her mother was gone for good. Clint wondered how fast she would forget her mother since she was only four years old. It hurt him to even think that. How could it not have crossed Laura's mind either? Cooper hadn't said much, so Clint assumed he was trying to just soldier on. It was something Clint himself would do.

"I'll be here," Nat said to them.

"See you soon," Clint nodded, herding the kids out the door and to his truck. He had some explaining to do with the teachers too.

...

A couple hours later, Clint returned home to find Nat sitting on the porch swing. He joined her and sighed deeply when he sank down into the seat.

"How did that go?"

"Better than expected. The teachers know what's going on. They're gonna call me if I have to pick them up."

"What are you gonna do about work?" Nat asked.

"I...I'm gonna talk to Fury. I can always ask my sister to watch them, but I don't want to be gone on long trips. I also don't want to end up dead either," Clint answered. "I'm probably going to retire. I think it's the easiest thing right now."

"You have a sister?" Nat asked, surprised.

"I don't tell a lot of people that," Clint said. "It keeps the bad guys from using it as leverage, you know?"

"I know."

"It's just her and I. Mom and Dad passed away in an accident about five years ago."

"I'm sorry."

"Me too," Clint bowed his head. "They loved Cooper. They would have loved Lila if they'd been alive to meet her. Funny thing is, I don't think my mom liked Laura all that much."

"No?"

"No," he shook his head. "Of course, I didn't listen to anyone's opinions, and look where it got me."

"You didn't know," Nat argued, touching his arm lightly.

"I should have seen it coming."

"Let's not go down this rabbit hole again, okay? You'll only drive yourself crazy."

"Aaaaaggghhh," Clint groaned, rubbing at his forehead vigorously. "This is a mess, Tasha."

"I'm here the whole way, Clint," Nat promised. He looked at her.

"That's a lot to ask of you," he commented.

"You'd do it for me," she said simply. "In fact, you already have in a way."

"Ah, so you're repaying a debt," Clint nodded, getting it.

"No," she said firmly. "I'm being here for you as a friend. It's got nothing to do with any debts. I'll save that for some other time."

"All right," he chuckled, patting her hand then. "Thanks."

"You better make those calls," Nat encouraged.

"Yea, I should. What about you? I'm sure you've got a job lined up."

"I do. It's not for a couple of weeks, though. What about you?"

"I'm basically acting as a protector of the Tesseract while the mad scientist experiments on it," Clint said. "It's nothing life threatening."

"We'll see," Nat commented.

"Come on. It's under heavy security. It's not going anywhere."

"So you think."

"Stop jinxing things, okay?" Clint asked, exasperated.

"All right," she agreed, holding her hands up in surrender. He shook his head as he got up to go inside and make his calls. Nat couldn't help but feel trouble brewing. She hoped she was wrong.

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**Of course I am making up the stuff about Clint's sister and parents. Just an fyi ;)**

**I love reading your reviews and thoughts :) It motivates me to write more!**


	3. Need You Now

**And here we are getting into the events of the first Avenger's film. It also begins exploring Nat's emotions and conflicted feelings about being in a family. Thank you to those who have reviewed. I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

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The next two weeks went by, and Natasha and Clint got into a routine very easily. Natasha sometimes was surprised by how lovingly Clint interacted with his children, and she would sometimes stand back and watch, wondering how it came so easy for him after the kind of work he did. She herself felt hard at times and didn't want to let people in because being vulnerable meant being a target for someone to hurt you, whether it's through work or in your personal life. It was easier to be detached. Even though every so often she felt sorrow over never being able to have her own family, she sometimes wondered if she was even capable of having one after all her training for the KGB. Her mission was drawing near, and she was surprised at how much she was itching to leave. However, Nat was faced with a dilemma. She didn't want to upset Lila or Cooper with her departure. She had grown very fond of these children in the time she had stayed there despite her resistance to it. They had a way of poking at her heart, and she wasn't sure what that meant. It scared her, which was another reason for her to leave. She didn't think she needed to stay here as a permanent resident. Clint seemed to have things under control now. Both children still had moments of crying or tantrums over their mother not being there, but they were becoming more manageable. Nat wondered how long before Laura returned to mess with everything once more. She didn't think Clint could handle that.

"It's like a bandaid," Clint said to her, jolting her out of her thoughts. "Just rip it off."

"I don't want to make them feel even more abandoned," Nat argued.

"You won't. They understand we both work."

"Well, you won't be for long," Nat pointed out.

"I know," Clint sighed. He had been trying to get in touch with Fury, but the man was always busy with something. He was hoping to see him later that week.

"I'll be gone for a week or so," Nat said. "Think you'll manage?" She hadn't told Clint yet that she didn't want to live there, but she wasn't sure she had to. Was that expected of her? Yes, she had told him she was there for him the whole way, but that didn't mean she wanted to live with him. She'd come help out and support him when he needed it, that was all. She was sure he'd understand. She felt overwhelmed by the idea of being a part of the family the longer she stayed, but a piece of her also felt something she didn't know how to describe. Was it longing?

"I think so. Who's your target?" Clint asked.

"Georgi Luchkov," she answered.

"Be careful," Clint warned.

"I'm always careful," she smirked. She dropped her bag by the door. It was bedtime for the kids, and she was going to say goodnight after telling them she was leaving. She went to Cooper's room first.

"Are you leaving?" he asked, seeing her coat on.

"I have to go to work for a little while," she answered, nodding.

"Are you going to come back?" he asked, looking at her intently. She knew he was struggling the most with everything, but he was trying to keep it inside.

"I'll come visit," she replied, reaching to ruffle his hair. "You can't get rid of me that easily, mister."

Cooper cracked a small smile at this and pushed her hand away. He didn't like being fussed over.

"You're getting the bad guys, right?" he asked, adjusting himself on his bed.

"Of course. I never miss," she promised.

"Okay," he nodded. She leaned down to kiss his forehead and tickle him, making him laugh.

"See you soon," she said.

"Bye," he responded. She shut the door behind her and went over to Lila's room. She hoped it would go just as well. The little girl was asleep, though, so Nat wasn't sure what to do. Looking around, she spied some paper and crayons. She sat on the small chair and wrote a note, drawing a heart on it as well for good measure. She put it on the nightstand beside Lila so she would see it when she woke up. She kissed her head and smiled down at the small form. Nat felt mixed emotions and wondered what was happening to her. She left then, shutting Lila's door behind her softly.

"Well?"

"Lila was already asleep. I left a note."

"Thanks."

"I'll be back," Nat said, imitating The Terminator. She grinned after.

"Ha, okay," Clint chuckled. They stood looking at each other for a moment. Nat felt he knew she wasn't planning on returning for more than just a visit. He wasn't a stupid man. The more she lingered, the more she realized it was his family, not hers. She was an outsider. She was a friend helping a friend, and she was okay with that. At least, she thought she was.

"Well, take care," she bobbed her head at him. Making his decision, he went to give her a hug.

"Good luck. And thanks, Nat, for...you know," he said as he pulled back.

"Anytime," she smiled. She opened the door and picked up her bag, giving him a small wave. He waved back, and she was gone.

...

"Daddy?!" Lila shrieked. Clint jolted awake to see his daughter standing there holding a piece of paper and crying.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked, sitting up.

"Auntie Nat is gone," she sobbed. Clint reached to pick her up and hugged her close.

"She had to go for work, honey," Clint said. "See? She says she will be back to visit." Lila was still new to reading, so she sometime easily misunderstood things. She peered at the note again.

"Where?" she asked.

"Right here," he answered, pointing. "'I am coming back. I will always come back.'"

"Oh," Lila said, her sniffling slowing down a little.

"We talked about this, remember? Nat can't live here with us," Clint explained. He had talked to the kids about it, but he just realized he hadn't talked to Nat about that. He didn't expect her to. She had her own life. Was that why she had been a little strange when she'd left? Did she think he wanted her to live with him? He'd have to talk to her when she returned and clarify some things.

"I know."

"It doesn't mean she's not coming back to visit."

"Okay."

Clint knew it was easy enough for something bad to happen to him. That was why he was trying to talk to Fury. For now, he wasn't going anywhere dangerous. He'd ride it out.

"Go get ready for school," he encouraged, and Lila slid off the bed and ran off. He rubbed his eyes, feeling tired still. He was surprised at how much he already missed Nat. That was something he'd have to work through. He knew she wasn't the family type. She was just his friend.

"Cooper! It's mine!" Lila's voice cried.

"Oh boy," Clint sighed. He got out of bed. It was a new day.

**A Week Later**

Clint was going to retire today. He was waiting for Fury to show up so he could have the conversation face to face. He'd left the kids at school, and his sister was on alert for now in case something happened. He was hoping nothing would. The Tesseract seemed to be acting up today, though, and it worried him. He wanted out of there before something bad happened. He was sitting up in his "roost" as they called it. He preferred being up high and out of sight. It gave him an advantage. Before long, Fury and Hill arrived to check in on how things were going. Clint watched, knowing Fury would be looking for him eventually.

"Where's Agent Barton?" Fury asked on cue about three minutes later.

"In his nest," came the reply from someone.

Clint took this as an invite to come down. He approached Fury.

"What are your thoughts on this?" Fury asked, gesturing to the Tesseract.

"If someone's tampering with it, it's not on our side," Clint answered logically.

"What?"

"Well, it's a space cube that acts as a door, so the other door would be in space," Clint said. "Right?"

"Huh," Fury said, looking at the Tesseract now.

"Can I talk to you about something?" Clint asked, changing the subject. Fury checked his watch.

"You have twenty seconds," Fury answered. Clint held back his frustration at this.

"I want to retire," he said.

"Excuse me?" Fury said, startled.

"Sir, as you may remember, I've got kids. I'm a single Dad now..." Clint started. A resounding bang from the Tesseract cut him off, and everyone stared as a light flashed a beam, creating a black hole with stars in the background before it exploded, throwing blue light everywhere. Then it was silent. The soldiers moved forward towards the smoking platform and crouched figure that had suddenly arrived there, guns aimed. Clint tried not to feel fear as the figure standing in the smoldering mess looked up at them all, a wicked grin on his face. He stood, wielding a huge spear that had a glowing blue ball at the end of it.

"Sir, I think it would be best if you put down that spear," Fury called. The man did not heed this instruction. Instead, he revved up the spear and threw a ball of blue light towards Fury. Clint shoved him out of the way, both of them falling down to the floor. The man then began wreaking havoc, not even getting hurt by any of the bullets that were flying around. Clint remembered Nat saying something was going to happen with that stupid Tesseract. He couldn't believe she had been right. He fired his own shot off, but the man dodged it, proceeding to blow Clint backwards and send him skidding across the floor. Clint coughed, feeling pain from being thrown around so much. He could hear the man approaching him, so he clambered to his feet quickly. He went to shoot again when the man caught his hand, pinning it.

"You've got heart, don't you?" the man said. Clint went to speak when the man stuck his spear right into his chest. The strangest of all feelings spread through him, and he suddenly didn't see this man as a threat anymore.

_We're a team now_, a voice said in his head. Clint accepted this easily. He holstered his gun, waiting for the man to tell him what to do next. He watched as the man introduced himself as Loki from Asgard and how he was going to get peace on Earth while he poked Dr. Selvig with his spear as well. Clint saw Fury gather the Tesseract into a case. Then, Fury started stalling, which Clint knew why.

"He's stalling. He means to bury us," Clint said to Loki.

"Oh, hell yes," Fury said, glowering at Clint.

"Yes, the portal is closing on itself," Dr. Selvig confirmed.

_So what are you waiting for? Kill him!_ the voice urged Clint. He aimed his gun and fired, knocking Fury flat onto his back. He grabbed the case with the Tesseract and followed Loki to escape.

...

Natasha wasn't entirely sure how she had ended up in this situation. What was supposed to be a simple, easy mission turned into a more complicated situation. She was currently tipped back in a chair that she was tied to by an ugly brute of a man who was leering at her. Georgi was yammering on in the background, but incidentally enough, he was telling her what she needed to know anyway.

"Your outdated information betrays you," Georgi was saying now. "Alas, the Black Widow, she's just another pretty face."

"You think I'm pretty?" Nat commented sarcastically. Georgi snorted and turned to the table where his tools were sitting. The brute grabbed Nat's face, squeezing it so her mouth was open. Nat knew what was going to happen next. She was rather calm in these kind of situations, but she did feel a touch of fear. She was only human after all.

"Tell Lermentov we don't need him to move the tanks anymore, that he's out," Georgi said. He looked over at her. "Well, actually, you will have to write it down."

Nat was figuring out how to get out of this when her phone rang. She watched as a henchman answered it, handing it to Georgi and stating it was for her. Georgi answered.

"You listen carefully," he started, but the person on the other end cut him off. Nat watched, interested and amused as Georgi's face betrayed a hint of concern as he walked over and put the phone to her ear.

"I need you to come in," Coulson said.

"Come on, I'm working," Nat complained.

"This matter takes precedence."

"Well, I'm in the middle of an important interrogation here. This joker is giving me all I need to know."

"What? I do not," Georgi said, confused. Nat gave him a look.

"I can't come in," she said to Coulson.

"Look..." Coulson said carefully. "Barton has been compromised."

Nat's heart almost stopped. Clint? Compromised? The kids...who was looking after them? She knew what she had to do.

"All right. Please hold," she said. Georgi reached for the phone then, and she kicked his shin before banging her head into his. He went down easily. She proceeded to attack the other two men whilst being strapped to the chair, using the chair as a weapon several times before flipping over and breaking it on the one man's back, freeing herself. She took them down quickly, and then she went over to Georgi, wrapping the chain around his leg before throwing him down the hole where he dangled. She picked up her phone and shoes, heading out.

"Where is he?" she asked Coulson.

"We don't know."

"He's alive, though, right?"

"As far as we know."

"So what's the plan?"

"First, you gotta get the big guy," Coulson instructed.

"Right, like Stark is gonna trust me," Nat scoffed.

"Not that big guy. I've got him. The other big guy," Coulson said. Nat felt a little worry then. They hung up, and she stood there for a moment.

"Ah damn it," she muttered. She hurried to find her car. She hoped that Clint was all right. She dialed another number as she got into her car.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Cassie?"

"Yes?"

"My name is Natasha. I'm a friend of your brother's."

"Oh no, has something happened?" Cassie asked, fear in her voice.

"I'm not sure entirely what has happened, but I think it's safe to say he needs you to pick the kids up from school and stay with them for a bit," Nat explained.

"Okay. I'll be there."

"Thanks so much."

"Just...bring him home," Cassie said. Nat paused for a moment.

"I will," she promised. It was not normally like her to promise something like that, but she knew Cassie needed to hear it.

"Good luck," Cassie said as they hung up. Nat gunned her car and headed for the airport. First, she was going to India.

* * *

**Please let me know what you think! I love hearing from you and knowing that you're enjoying the story. **


	4. Back to Me

**Thank you for your reviews! I'm glad you're all still interested in this story. The next two chapters will be following the events of the first Avengers film with some add ins and change ups of course. **

* * *

Natasha looked over at Bruce, who was sleeping on the plane. She felt relieved that he hadn't gone all Hulk on her, but she felt wary of the potential for him to do so in the future. Who was to say he wouldn't lose his cool? She hoped Fury and Coulson knew what the hell they were doing. Her mind wandered over to Clint again. Was he all right? Where was he? She knew the kids were okay. Cassie had texted her an update. They were missing their father, but they knew he was working. Nat never wanted them to know anything worse had happened. They didn't need that stress.

Turbulence shook the plane, and she gripped the arm rests. She couldn't sleep. She kept thinking about when she first met Clint. She had come face to face with him, his arrow taut in his bow, and she watched him survey her carefully before lowering it.

"Don't let the pretty face fool you," she had said. "I have no problem killing you."

"I don't doubt it," he had replied. "But there's something else I see in you too."

"What's that?"

"A goodness in your heart," he had told her.

The plane shook again, bringing Nat back to the present moment. Clint had saved her then, and she was going to save him now. This would be her paying back the debt she owed him. Then they'd be even. She rested her hand on her chin, looking out the window. How Clint had even seen the good in her, she'd never understand. She'd never know what possessed him to take that risk with her.

...

Clint was beginning to see things in a new light. The voice in his head was explaining all sorts of logic and reason to him that he was starting to understand more and more. He, Loki, and Selvig were at their new destination, and he was standing by while everyone got to work with the Tesseract.

_There will be peace. _

Peace. That was a good promise. Clint was all right with that. If there had to be some bloodshed to get there, then there would have to be. It was collateral damage. He could see Loki looking at him, curious.

_You're doing the right thing. _

He was. He believed it, but there was this small, tiny voice counteracting the main voice, and it was chirping every so often. He chose to ignore it, but it came anyway. Perhaps eventually it would be gone altogether. He frowned as it echoed in his mind again.

_But are you really sure he's right? _

...

Natasha got to meet Steve Rogers next. They were all with Fury discussing what the plan was. She noticed Steve looked wary and a little disoriented. She supposed being asleep for 70 years had that affect on someone. Bruce was standing and looking nervously at his surroundings. She figured he didn't like being trapped in midair with no escape. She wasn't exactly fond of the idea either. She found herself not fully listening as she looked at Clint's picture on the computer monitor. Where was he now? Fury broke into her thoughts and asked her to show Bruce to his lab, so she walked him down. He looked at everything as he walked.

"I'm not really sure why Fury trusts me," Bruce admitted when they reached his lab.

"Fury has his own logic, one that others sometimes don't agree with or understand, but if he trusts you, then I trust you," Nat told him, smiling.

"Okay," Bruce nodded. He set to work on locating the Tesseract. Nat watched for a moment before going somewhere privately. She checked her phone. Cassie hadn't written, but she assumed everything was all right. Her thumb hovered over Clint's name in her contacts.

"It would be pointless," Fury said, making her jump. She looked at him.

"Why?"

"Loki has him under the control of whatever the hell is in his scepter. The Clint Barton you know currently doesn't exist. There's a stranger in his body."

"Will he ever recover?" Nat asked, trying not to show her worry or fear. She was good at putting on a mask for others. Fury sighed.

"We'll cross that bridge when we get there," he replied. They walked together back to where everyone else was. One of Fury's men grew excited.

"I got a hit!"

Feeling her heart begin to race, Nat waited for him to keep speaking.

"Where is it?" Fury asked.

"Stuttgart, Germany. 28, Canning Strasse to be specific. He's being pretty obvious," the guy answered. Fury looked over at Steve.

"You're up," he said.

...

Nat was in the ship trying to get a good aim on Loki, which wasn't successful as he kept jumping around like a lemur. Her mind was constantly flicking over to where Clint was. Was he there too? Would she find him?

"Agent Romanoff? Did you miss me?" a voice asked. Loud rock music could be heard then, and Nat pressed her lips together. Of course. Tony Stark was in the house. It didn't take long for Tony to take Loki down, which she assumed would annoy Steve a little since he had just fought with him to no avail. She landed the ship, and Tony and Steve escorted Loki on board. Nat looked at Loki, and she wanted to ask him where Clint was. She didn't want to give away her worry for him, though. Showing weakness to your foes was not number one on the to do list.

"You didn't answer my question," Tony said to her once they were in the air again.

"What?" she asked.

"Did you miss me?"

"I haven't even thought about you," she answered.  
"Ouch, that was cold," Tony said. He looked at Steve. "How are you doing since waking up from your big sleep?"

"I'm fine, thank you," Steve answered stiffly.

"Watch him," Nat instructed them both, gesturing her head in Loki's direction.

"Fine," Tony said. He and Steve stood beside each other to watch Loki. After flying for a while, Fury asked Nat if Loki was saying anything. She replied he wasn't, and Fury ordered them to come back with Loki quickly. Lightning streaked across the skies, making Loki nervous.

"Afraid of lightning?" Steve asked him.

"I'm not particularly fond of what comes after it," Loki answered. A loud thud on the roof of the ship made Nat whip her head upward. Tony opened the door, and Thor came inside. He shoved his hammer onto Tony's chest, pushing him down while he grabbed Loki and his hammer back and jumped out. Tony jumped after him. Despite Nat's warning, Steve jumped out too.

...

They had captured Loki. They had to get him back. Clint couldn't shut his mind off. The voice was encouraging him to kill, encouraging him to move forward with the plan. Selvig was puttering with the Tesseract, murmuring to himself and being excited. Clint was loading up the ship and getting ready to find Loki's scepter and Loki. He was vaguely aware that he'd be attacking Fury's ship. It couldn't be helped. Things needed to be done in order to fulfill the plan, and he'd do it because the voice in his head was telling him to.

...

Knowing that everyone else was occupied, Natasha decided to talk to Loki. He was pacing around in the glass prison, and he stopped, turning to smile at her.

"There aren't many who can sneak up on me," he commented.

"So you knew I was coming," she said back.

"I figured after Fury tortured me you'd come to offer a kind of friendship to lower my defenses."

"What have you done to Agent Barton?" Nat asked, changing the subject.

"I expanded his mind," Loki answered simply.

"So when you've become the king of the hill after winning, what happens to his mind?"

"Oh, Agent Romanoff," Loki said. "Is this love?"

"Love belongs to children. I owe Barton a debt."

"Do tell," Loki said, moving to sit down. Nat wondered why he even cared to know. She decided to tell him anyway.

"I was the type of person with a reputation who had a certain skill set and didn't care who I used it on before I joined S.H.I.E.L.D., and they wanted me dead. They sent Agent Barton to kill me, and he made a different call," she finished. Her mind flashed back to it, his face...the way he looked at her. She brought herself back to the present then.

"And what happens if I vow to spare him?" he asked.

"You're not getting out," she said.

"No, but this is wonderful. You're bargaining for one man while the world is hanging in the balance."

"Well, regimes fall every day. That doesn't bother me. I'm Russian. Well, I used to be."

"And now?" Loki asked.

"It's simple. I have a ledger full of red that needs to be wiped out."

"And can you? Can you really wipe out that much red?" Loki prodded. "Dreykov's daughter? Sao Paulo? The hospital fire?"

Nat swallowed hard. How did he know all of this?

"Barton told me all I needed to know," Loki answered, reading her mind. "Your ledger isn't just full of red. It's seeping out the sides, gushing red, and you think that by saving one man with the same virtue as you if not less will change that fact? It's pathetic. You are lying and killing while working for liars and killers. You all pretend to have your own code, but you can't escape the horrors of what you've done. They will never leave you as they are always a part of you."

Loki slammed his fist against the glass then, making her jump.

"I promise not to touch Barton until I've made him kill you very slowly in all the ways that he knows you're terrified of, and he will wake up with enough time to see what he's done. When he realizes it and screams, I will then split his skull wide open!"

Nat turned away from him, tears in her eyes. Even though she knew what she was doing, that she knew he was only trying to upset her, she couldn't get the image of Barton seeing what he'd done to her out of her mind, the horror in his eyes. Loki was good for creating a realistic visual, she had to admit.

"This is my deal. Take it or leave it," he snarled.

"You're nothing but a monster," Nat said, trapping him.

"Actually," Loki corrected. "You brought the monster." Nat straightened up then and turned to look at Loki.

"So, it is Banner," she said.

"What?" Loki asked. She moved then, alerting the others to Loki's plan to unleash the Hulk. She took one last look at Loki.

"Thanks for your cooperation," she smiled. Then she turned to leave, trying to empty her mind of Loki's description of Barton killing her as she went.

...

The team was bickering with each other about Fury going to use the Tesseract to make weapons when Nat arrived, and Banner was getting angry and defensive. No one noticed the incoming ship until it was too late. An explosion rocked the aircraft, and Natasha and Bruce fell through the floor while everyone else ducked and leaped out of the way of debris. Nat cried out when something landed on her foot. She looked over at Bruce, who was convulsing on the floor.

"Romanoff, you all right?" Fury asked through the intercom.

"Yea, we are," she answered. "Right, Bruce?"

Bruce banged his fists on the ground. Maybe not.

"Banner, don't let it," Nat urged. "Don't give in to what Loki wants." She felt afraid then. She pulled desperately, trying to free her foot. If Bruce turned into the Hulk with her trapped, she was as good as dead. Bruce was making growling noises and noises of someone in pain.

"I swear," she said. "I'll get you out of this even if it costs me my life."

"Your life?" Bruce snarled. He screamed in agony again. Nat pulled and pulled, her foot finally becoming free just as Bruce finished his transformation into Hulk. Nat stared at him, horrified. Then she ran for it. Hulk chased after her, roaring. Nat was pretty sure she was going to die. She managed to get away at one point, and she pulled out her gun. She crept quietly, listening for Hulk. She knew her gun was pointless, but it was worth a try. Hulk roared behind her suddenly, making her spin around. Her heart was going a hundred miles and hour. Out of reflex, she shot the pipe above his head, causing steam to come out onto him. She ran again, but he was behind her in an instant. She heard the glass shattering as he closed the gap between them. She thought about Lila and Cooper. They would be so upset that she didn't come back. She reached the end of the tunnel only to be slapped by Hulk and sent flying into the wall. She collapsed onto the ground, crying out in pain. She turned so she was facing Hulk, and he moved towards her, his hand ready to hit her again. She went to scream when something slammed into Hulk and threw him through the other wall. She gasped, trying to calm herself down as Thor led Hulk away to fight elsewhere. The reality that she was almost killed was threatening to overcome her. She had to get up, but her body wouldn't listen. She hugged her knees, shivering while the commotion around her carried on. She felt the aircraft tilt one way after a while, and she knew things were getting serious.

"It's Barton," Fury's voice said. "He's taken out our systems and heading for the detention level. Does anybody copy?"

Nat knew what she had to do.

"Agent Romanoff here," she said. "And I copy." She got to her feet, and ran down to find Clint. This was going to end now. She hoped he wouldn't kill her. She hoped she wouldn't have to kill him. She had no idea what she'd tell his children then. Who would raise them? Cassie, probably. Calming her thoughts, she saw Clint move ahead of her. She crept up behind him easily enough, but he swung around, his arrow taut. She hit his arm, making him miss. They engaged in hand to hand combat. Clint started to swing his bow at her, and she ducked and weaved. She kicked him hard twice before slipping under the catwalk and coming up the other side to hit him again. He fired off another arrow that missed before swinging his bow at her again. He eventually looped the string behind her head and pulled her in hard towards him, hitting her head with his. She managed to get his bow from him and back hand slapped him hard enough to send him reeling. He repositioned himself, holding a knife. Nat stared him down, hoping he'd recognize her, but there was nothing but anger and determination in his eyes. It scared her. They proceeded to fight, kicking and hitting each other. Nat hated that he wasn't realizing what he was doing. She had no idea how to make him come back. Would he come back? She cracked his arm that was holding the knife backwards, but he simply flipped the knife over to his other hand and swiped it at her face. She ducked, grabbing his other arm. He managed to get her into a head lock with the knife pointed at her throat. Desperate, Nat took a leaf out of Lila's book (the child would do this when cornered in a play fight), and she bit Clint on the arm. He shouted in pain, and she held on until he finally released the knife. Then she flipped him over and threw him against the railing, his head making a very loud clanging noise against the metal. He groaned, flailing about a little before managing to get his bearings. He looked up at her.

"Tasha?" he asked. She felt relief that he finally knew her, but she still wanted to make sure, so she punched him hard one more time, knocking him right out. She called for help to remove Clint and take him somewhere secure. She'd talk to him later. Fury's voice came over the intercom at this point, telling everyone that Coulson was dead. She felt her heart drop. Could things get any worse?


	5. Warriers

**LOL you guys. Cognitive recalibration. Yup, it's my favorite scene too. Hope you all enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

Clint woke up with a massive headache. He groaned, shaking his head. His arms were restrained, and he clenched his fists.

"Welcome back," Nat said. He saw her sitting beside him.

"Back from where?"

"From whatever Loki did to you. You're going to be okay," she assured him.

"Really?" he asked. She didn't answer. Clint felt rage at Loki then. He wanted to kill him.

"I gotta get him," he said after a moment. "I have to."

"You need to fully recover first," Nat said.

"You're not understanding," he insisted. "Has anyone ever forced their way into your brain and played with it? Removed you and put something else in instead? Do you have any idea what it's like to be unmade?"

"You know I do," she replied. He was still panting and worked up. He couldn't understand what had happened to him. He just knew he never wanted it to happen again.

"How did you bring me back?" he asked her.

"A little thing I like to call cognitive recalibration," she answered.

"You did what to me?" he asked.

"It's a fancy way of saying I banged your head really hard," she explained.

"Well, thanks," he said. That explained the sore head aside from the headache. She reached to undo his restraints.

"Tasha," he said. "How many agents...?"

"Don't do that," she ordered, stopping him. "This is different stuff going on here that we were never trained or prepared for. It's Loki, remember? He's an expert on magic and tricks."

"Did he escape?"

"Yea. Do you maybe know where?"

"No. I didn't need to know, so I didn't ask. It's going to be today, though, when he makes his move. I know that for sure."

"So we'll stop him."

"We?"

"Whoever is left that hasn't been killed," she nodded.

"If I manage to put an arrow through Loki's brain, then I guess it might help me to sleep," Clint said.

"Now you sound like yourself again," she said, sitting beside him. Clint thought about what she must have endured emotionally and physically when he was under and trying to kill her. He could only imagine.

"But you don't seem like yourself," he pointed out, realizing. "You're not a soldier, Tasha, you never were. Why are you suddenly jumping into a war? What did he do to you?"

She was quiet for a moment.

"He didn't..." she trailed off, looking down.

"Hey, Tasha," he said, leaning his shoulder into hers. She looked at him finally.

"I just really want to get rid of the red in my ledger. That's all," she finished. He took her hand in his then, squeezing it.

"I will help you with that," he promised.

"Thank you," she said. He realized something then.

"The kids?!" he exclaimed.

"They're with Cassie. They're safe," she reassured him. He clutched his heart.

"Oh, thank God," he said. "They don't know...?"

"No."

"Good."

"It's all taken care of."

"Thank you," he said. "I...I really appreciate it."

"I promised I'd help you," she said, smiling. "Now, let's find Loki and finish this so you can go home."

Clint noticed she said "you" and not "we." He knew it was foolish to hope she'd come back with him, but it still hurt a little to hear it.

...

Clint was washing up when Steve stuck his head into the door a few minutes later. He stared at himself in the mirror. He was trying not to think about the people he'd killed when he was under, but it was hard. He rubbed his face with a towel as he walked back to the other room.

"We gotta go," he heard Steve say to Nat. "Can you fly one of those jets?"

"I can fly it," Clint answered for her, coming into view then and wiping his hands.

"You got a suit?" Steve asked him.

"Sure do."

"Then now would be a good time to put it on," Steve said, moving to leave. Clint looked at Nat.

"Who's that guy?" he asked.

"Captain America."

"The guy from the ice? Really?"

"Yea."

"Wow."

"Come on," Nat said, smirking. "You can get his autograph later."

"I never said..."

"You didn't have to," she laughed, moving to get ready. She could hear Clint laughing behind her. She felt relieved that he was back to himself and not dead. She didn't know what she would have done if he had died. She tried not to think about the upcoming battle they were about to find themselves in.

**New York **

They crashed into the ground in the jet. Steve was tossed about in the back while Clint and Natasha gripped the arm rests and braced themselves. When they skidded to a stop, Clint released the breath he was holding.

"Ready?" he asked her.

"I was born ready," she answered.

"Come on, guys," Steve said, pushing the door open of the jet and climbing out. Clint hopped out and pulled Nat out behind him. Steve was shielding his eyes from the sun.

"We gotta go there," he said, pointing to Stark Tower.

"Then let's go already," Clint commented. The three of them started to run towards it when they heard a mechanical groaning coming from above. They all looked, and they were horrified to see Loki's army coming through the hole in the sky and start wreaking havoc on the streets. They started to fight while working to save civilians too. Nat found herself enjoying the fight after a while.

"This is a lot like Budapest," she commented to Clint as he shot off his arrows and she fired her guns. They were standing side by side.

"We seem to remember Budapest quite differently," he responded. She just laughed back. They fought on together like a well oiled machine. At one point, they stopped while reconvening with Steve. Thor joined them then.

"I will find Loki. I'm not finished with him."

"Get in line," Clint told him.

"Stop," Steve ordered. "Loki is making this fight be focused on us, and that's perfect. Without him, this army will go wild and do worse damage. Stark is up top, and he'll need us to..." He stopped short then as a motorcycle approached them carrying Bruce, who stopped and shut it off. He looked around at everything.

"Well, this is terrible," Bruce commented, dismounting the bike and looking at them finally.

"I've experienced worse," Nat said.  
"Sorry about that," Bruce apologized.

"It's okay. I think we could use a little worse right now," she responded.

"Banner's here," Steve said to Tony.

"Right," Tony's voice came back. "Then I'm bringing this party to you."

"I think you need a new definition of party," Nat commented, seeing the enormous flying alien creature coming their way. Bruce started to walk towards it.

"Uh, shouldn't you get mad right now?" Steve asked.

"That's the thing," Bruce said, looking back at them. "I'm always mad." He turned into Hulk within seconds and he slammed his fist into the beast's face, bringing it down. Tony prevented it from landing on all of them, and they gathered around after, facing their enemy. More came through the portal, making it feel like they were never going to keep up. Steve took charge then and called out the orders for everyone, and they went to war.

...

At some point, Natasha knew she had to get to that portal if this was going to end. She got Steve to throw her up into the air, and she caught one of the machines the aliens were riding as it flew past. She beat them off, taking over the controls. She spotted Loki then, and she let Clint know which one he was on. Unfortunately, Loki caught Clint's arrow inches from his face. Knowing Thor was supposed to deal with him, Natasha put her focus back on getting to Stark Tower. She crash landed and found Eric Selvig on the ground with a bleeding wound on his head. Was it too much to hope that he experienced his own cognitive recalibration without her assistance?

"The scepter," he was saying. "The energy...I couldn't...I couldn't stop it. It controlled me..."

"It wasn't your fault. You had no idea what you were doing," Nat assured him, relieved that he was back to himself.

"Oh, but I did. I put in a fail safe," Selvig said. "To cut off their power."

"The scepter," Nat said, getting it.

"It can close the portal," Selvig told her. He turned his head. "And I'm looking directly at it." Nat went to see for herself, and then she ran down to get it before Loki could find it. She hoped Clint was all right. She hadn't heard anything from him, but she had to assume he was okay. She had to keep focused. She grabbed the scepter and raced back to Selvig.

"Put it at the crown," he instructed. She pushed it into the barrier, feeling resistance at first.

"I can close the portal!" she called into her intercom. "Can anyone hear me?"

"Do it!" Steve ordered.

"Hold off!" Tony's order came next. "There's a nuke coming in less than a minute. I know exactly where to put it. Keep that portal open."

"Stark, that's not a two way trip," Steve said. Tony didn't answer him. Nat held off, hoping that Tony wouldn't be too long.

...

Clint groaned, sitting up. He had taken quite the beating crashing through the window. He looked out to see Tony flying and pushing what looked like a nuclear missile up into the sky and towards the portal.

Moments later, there was a huge explosion in the space above them then.

"Nat, close it," Steve ordered over the comm. Clint winced from the pain he was in. He could barely move. He got to his feet slowly, finding the stairs to return to the street.

"Clint, where are you?" Nat asked after a bit.

"I'm coming," he answered. He made his way down to find Steve, Thor, and Hulk standing over Tony's body. He approached them as Hulk roared at Tony, jolting him awake.

"Nobody kissed me, right?" Tony asked, looking up at them.

"Certainly not," Clint answered.

"Good. Thanks for the, uh, wake up call," Tony said to Hulk, who simply nodded back.

"What now?" Clint asked.

"We find Loki," Thor answered. They headed towards Stark Tower, knowing that was where Loki was last. When they arrived, Nat greeted Clint with a hug. He hugged her back.

"You're okay?" she asked.

"Yea. Where is he?" he countered. The others were still moving, so they followed. They found Loki on the floor in Tony's kitchen, and Clint put an arrow in his bow and pulled it tight, aiming it at his face when Loki finally turned around to see them all standing there.

"Well, I think I could use a drink now," Loki said. Tony gave a small snort, understanding the reference, and Thor went to pull Loki to his feet roughly. They marched him out together. Clint felt a little angry that he couldn't just kill the guy, but Thor was promising that Loki would be imprisoned for what he'd done in Asgard. He had to believe it. He'd get his chance at revenge another day.

"You better call Cassie," Nat said once they were alone again.

"I will right now," he promised, pulling out his phone. His sister sounded very relieved to hear his voice. She put the kids on, and Clint reassured them he'd be home soon. He looked over at Nat, who was watching him.

"Well?" he asked.

"I think it's time to go home," she answered.

"Yea?"

"Yea," she smiled. She wasn't exactly sure what she was doing, but she wanted to make sure that Clint was okay after Loki controlling his mind, so she decided to go back to his house again, just for a little while.

...

Nat watched Lila and Cooper race out and down the steps towards Clint when they arrived. She hung back, giving them space. She felt a tug on her heart at the scene before her. It made her throat hurt as she held back tears thinking she would never have her own child come racing towards her like that.

"Auntie Nat!" Lila shrieked, letting go of Clint once she saw her and charging over to her. Nat bent to pick her up as she crashed into her arms. She guessed someone was happy to see her after all.

"Hi, you," she said.

"You came back, just like you promised," Lila said into Nat's neck.

"I did."

"Are you gonna stay?"

"For a little while, yea."

"I'm so happy," Lila said, kissing Nat's cheek. Nat choked up a little bit more. Cooper came over to high five her then. He wasn't as huggy with her. He barely hugged Clint at times, but today he had held on as though Clint was going to disappear.

"Did you get into a fight?" Cooper asked her, seeing her cuts.

"Sort of," Nat answered.

"Cool! Can you tell us?"

Nat and Clint looked at each other. They had prepared for this occasion.

"Let's get inside first," Clint suggested. Cooper nodded and followed them in. Nat carried Lila until they were inside and she wanted down.

"You can tell it," Nat grinned, finding a place to sit. She was aching from everything. She was pretty sure Clint was too.

"Okay," Clint agreed. He rounded them up and began to tell the story.

...

Clint awoke in the middle of the night to a sound. His ears perked. It was definitely crying, so he got up to investigate. He knew Lila had nightmares, but it sounded different this time. He padded down the hallway, poking his head into Lila's room. She was silent aside from her breathing. Puzzled, Clint stood in the hallway and listened. It was coming from downstairs. Feeling a little concerned, he went down to where Nat was sleeping in the guest room.

"Tasha?" he called quietly, standing outside her door. The crying turned into shouting, and he didn't hesitate. He pushed the door open and saw through the darkness that she was thrashing and flailing in the bed.

"No!" she was shrieking. "Let me go! Let me goooo!"

"Hey," he said, grabbing her shoulders. "Tasha, wake up."

"NOOOO!" she screamed. He shook her then, not wanting the kids to wake up and hear this.

"Tasha!" he called, gripping her face with his hands. Her eyes flew open then, and without hesitation, she swiftly and expertly threw him off the bed. He landed on the floor in a crumpled heap, wincing from the pain.

"Ow," he muttered.

The light snapped on, and Nat looked over at him, still shaking from her night terror.

"Clint?" she asked. "What are you doing down there?"

"You threw me," he answered, his voice muffled. He untangled himself and moved to sit at the edge of the bed.

"I did?"

"You were having a nightmare. I woke you up, and you chucked me off," he explained, laughing a little.

"I'm sorry..."

"It's fine. I should have expected your natural instinct to kick ass," he joked. She rubbed her face hard, feeling the tears there. She wiped at them.

"Was I disturbing everyone?"

"You were shouting."

"Oh."

"It's fine, Tasha," he assured her, squeezing her hand. "You wanna talk about it?"

Nat closed her eyes briefly, and the image of those who had been hurting her flashed into her mind. She wrenched her eyes open again.

"Not really," she replied.

"I'm a good listener," he promised.

"I know you are, but I really...I just don't. Not right now."

"Okay," he said. He didn't want to push.

"Thank you," she told him. "For...for coming to help."

"You'd do it for me," he acknowledged. "You have. Do I need to do a cognitive recalibration on you?"

"No, no," she shook her head, hiding her smirk. "I'll be all right."

"You know where to find me," he said, getting up. She didn't answer, and he left. A part of her wished she had let him stay.

**A Week Later **

"Again!" Lila commanded. "Tell me the story again!"

"You're not tired of it?" Clint asked, incredulous.

"No! Tell me how you saved New York," Lila ordered. She was resting on her pillows ready for sleep. Clint regretted telling them how they saved New York. He had made it a very child appropriate story, but Lila was obsessed with it. Cooper had grown tired of it after the fifth time telling it, though.

"Okay," Clint agreed. "Once upon a time, flying monkeys tried to take over New York."

Lila began to giggle at this. Clint had used flying monkeys as he didn't want to scare her or give her images of aliens (he'd also overheard Steve say something about Fury referencing them at one point during the whole situation. Clint wished he had been present for that). She was still too little for talk of aliens. To be honest, he never wanted her to know they could come to Earth.

"Where did the flying monkeys come from?" she asked.

"The hole in the sky," he answered.

"How?"

"You want me to tell you the story or explain the story?"

"Tell me!" Lila laughed.

"All right then. Don't interrupt," Clint said, feigning annoyance. She giggled even further. "The flying monkeys were trying to rule New York, but we wouldn't let them. Auntie Nat got the magic stick to close the hole in the sky."

"What did Iron Man do?"

"He put a rocket through the hole to show those monkeys we mean business."

"And Captain America?"

"He helped the people on the ground be safe."

"And Hulk?"

"He smashed things."

"And Thor?"

"He used lightning to scare away the monkeys."

"And you?"

"I shot at the monkeys from my perch."

"Auntie was really the one who saved the day, right?"

"Yes. Auntie Nat closed the hole, and the monkeys were gone, back where they belonged. The end."

"And the monkeys are gone forever, right?" Lila asked, making sure.

"Yes, sweetheart," Clint said, leaning to kiss her forehead. "They're gone for good." He certainly hoped he was right. It scared him to think of aliens coming to New York again or close to home and hurting his family.

"Good night," she said. "I love you."

"I love you too. Goodnight kiddo," he said, turning her lamp off and going to the door. She asked for Laura less and less every day. Cooper just didn't talk about her at all. Clint debated on taking him to therapy to talk to someone about it.

"Did the monkeys go away?" Nat asked when he joined her in the living room. She was smirking.

"Yup," he nodded.

"You must be tired of telling that story."

"I am, but I know she'll tire of it eventually."

Clint reached for the remote, turning on the news. He had retired after everything happened. Fury understood. Nat was staying with him to make sure he was okay mentally. He knew he was, but he was grateful she cared enough. They didn't talk about her living there permanently, just like they didn't talk about her recurring nightmares. He knew she would bring it up on her own when she wanted to. For now, he appreciated her company.

* * *

**I always love to read your reviews :) I hope you're still enjoying this story.**


	6. Dreams

_It was dark. She searched as hard as she could, but she couldn't find him. Her heart was pounding. Her mind was racing. Where was he?_

_"Clint?" she called._

_No response. Just silence. _

_"Clint!"_

_She ran harder, faster. Something had happened to him. Loki had him under a spell. She had to save him. _

_"CLINT!"_

_Rustling to her left. She pulled out her gun, snapping her attention to the figure looming towards her._

_"You're too late," it hissed. A three headed monster snapped it's jaws at her. She turned and ran, still looking._

_"CLIIIIINT!"_

_"Tasha?"_

_It was faint, but she heard it. She sprinted towards the sound, screeching to a halt at the edge of a cliff. She looked down to see him hanging onto the edge. His eyes were funny, like he was possessed and seeing but not really seeing._

_"Tasha?"_

_"Clint, I'm coming," she said, getting onto her stomach and trying to reach. She grazed his fingers with hers. "Come on!"_

_"I can't," he said._

_"Clint, please!"_

_She watched in horror as Loki came and pulled him down, both falling away until the darkness swallowed them whole. Clint's eyes staring at her was the last thing she saw. _

_"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

...

"Tasha! Wake up!" Clint was saying over and over when she opened her eyes. Nat gasped and bolted upright, clutching his shoulders tightly with her hands. She was still in her dream, seeing him fall to the darkness. She never saw if he hit the ground. He just disappeared with Loki forever. She was trying to breathe, but it was choppy and choking.

"You're safe in bed," Clint was saying, trying to ground her. "You had a bad dream. It wasn't real. You are with me right here in this house, safe."

Her face was wet, which meant she was crying. She hated that. She hated being vulnerable.

"See?" Clint went on, moving her hand to touch the bedsheets. "You're right here."

"Okay," she finally said, beginning to calm down.

"I really think you should see someone about this," Clint started.

"No," she cut him off, shaking her head hard. No one wanted to know what was going on inside her head. No one. She knew that for a fact.

"It's obviously not going away. You have to do something..."

"I will be fine." She stared at him, and he pressed his lips together, not saying anything further. She was very stubborn at times. _  
_"Look, I know you haven't shared much of your past with me," he said after a moment. "But I am here if you ever want to talk about it."

"Thank you," she said. He knew some of her history, but not all of it. Certain things she kept close to her chest. She knew it was bothering him that she was dreaming about something he couldn't save her from. She didn't want him to know what it was about. She felt embarrassed that she was even dreaming about him. She didn't want him to read anything more into it.

"I'm just gonna get up for a bit," she said, pushing her legs out from under the covers and hopping off the bed to walk out to the front step to sit and think. Clint let her go. He knew she needed to be alone. He just wished she would let him in a little more.

...

Morning came, but Nat wasn't tired despite being up half the night. She got dressed quickly as she heard Lila and Cooper bouncing around upstairs. Clint's voice sounded annoyed, so she presumed Lila had dive bombed him while he was sleeping again. She smiled to herself. It was astounding at how much of a routine she and Clint had gotten into. Natasha would help the kids get ready for school, pick them up sometimes, and live each day as though it was her family, her life. Sometimes she felt like she was in a dream. Other times, she kept telling herself that it wouldn't last, that she didn't belong there. She rubbed her forehead, thinking about the latest episode last night. Her nightmares were recurring, and sometimes she'd wake herself up before Clint could shake her awake. She felt embarrassed that he even heard her, that he had to wake her up. She hated that he could hear what she was saying at her darkest and most vulnerable hour in the throes of sleep. She started to fear going to sleep altogether. What if she revealed something to him she didn't want him to know? She knew she had to leave, but she couldn't understand the pull that was making her stay.

**A Few Weeks Later**

"I have to leave again," Nat told him while they were sitting on the porch watching Lila and Cooper playing. It was almost a relief that she had work as an excuse to leave because going on her own was obviously not happening. She would be away for a long time this time. He looked at her.

"You do?"

"Yea."

"Oh. Where?"

"It's confidential since you're retired," she answered. "Sorry."

"It's all right."

"You're okay right?"

"Of course."

"I'll call when I can..."

"I know," he cut her off. "When do you leave?"

"Tomorrow."

"Why do you always wait til the day before to tell me?"

"I'm not sure," she admitted.

"All right. Well, be safe," he said. She gave him a small smile.

"I will be," she promised. He gave a nod and went back to watching the kids. He hated to see her go. He had really gotten used to her being there. He also worried that something would happen that would prevent her from coming back. That was when he got the idea.

**The Next Day**

It was hard enough to leave Clint, but it was harder to leave the two kids. Nat knew this was bad. She was getting too invested, too involved with Clint and his family. They were friends. Friends didn't become a surrogate mother to another friend's children...did they? When Lila let slip the night before and called her Mommy, Nat knew she shouldn't be staying here. She had corrected Lila of course, but she felt guilty all the same. Laura was her mother and always would be. She told Clint, who had thought it was cute and funny, not concerning, which also made Nat wonder what was happening here. She left the guest room with her bag packed and found Clint in the kitchen leaning against the island. She set her bag down and noticed something on the counter with her name on it.

"What's this?" Nat asked, looking at the little box in front of her.

"Open it," Clint grinned. She gave him a look. Since when do they give each other gifts? She obliged, pulling it open and seeing a necklace inside with an arrow charm in the center. She looked up at him.

"It's beautiful. But...why?"

"It's so no matter where you go, I'm always with you to keep you safe," he answered. "It's also a thank you for everything you've done for me around here with the kids and all." She took it out carefully, holding it in her fingers. He took it from her and put it on her. She felt his fingers grace the skin on the back of her neck.

"That's a little superstitious," she teased, turning to look at him. "I mean, how can it keep me safe? It's jewelry."

"Make fun all you want, but I'll be here to say I told you so when you've dodged death whenever you're wearing it," he said.

"I'll just say thank you, then," she said.

"You're welcome," he replied. She studied him carefully. Something was going on between them, but she wasn't sure just quite what it was yet. She knew she couldn't have a family. It wasn't allowed when she was doing her training for KGB, and they had made sure she never could have one. Family was just something to be used against you and tortured to make you talk. She shouldn't be here. She shouldn't be getting deeper into this. This gesture was proving it.

"I really do have to leave now," she said.

"All right," Clint nodded.

They hugged, and she felt it linger a little longer than normal.

"I'll be in touch," she promised, adjusting her coat after pulling away. She turned to leave then, not one for lingering goodbyes. She knew he'd be watching her the entire time she walked to her car.

**9 Months Later **

Clint was doing dishes while Lila and Cooper played upstairs. He could hear them thumping and giggling. He couldn't help but smile. He looked out the window, hoping to see Nat walking up to the house. She wasn't there. He thought about her all the time. He wondered if he had scared her off by giving her the necklace. Was it too personal and intimate? Where was she now anyway? She had called twice since she had left, but that was it. Clint tried not to think about her being hurt or captured somewhere. He wouldn't even know where to begin to look to find her if she was. He heard the rumble of a car, and his head snapped up, hopeful. He didn't recognize it, but he recognized the person getting out of it. He dropped what he was holding and rushed to the steps. Nick Fury came slowly towards him.

"What's happened?" Clint asked, feeling anxious. If Fury was here, then something bad had happened to Nat. It was all he could think about.

"You better sit down," Fury gestured.

"Fury, just tell me," Clint argued. "Is it Nat? Is she dead?"

"Nat?" Fury asked. "No, not Nat. Clint, this is about Laura."

"Laura?" Clint repeated, confused. He hadn't heard from her since before she had abandoned him. What did Laura have to do with Fury?

"We just finished with making a list of the casualties of New York," Fury started, rubbing his head. "There were quite a few to go through, and I'm very sorry, Clint, but Laura was one of the casualties."

Clint felt the air get sucked out of his ears, and he could hear a ringing start. The world tilted a little. He sank into the chair on the porch. Fury reached out and put his hand on Clint's shoulder.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"She...she's dead?" Clint asked.

"Yes."

"What was she doing in New York?"

"Your guess is as good as mine."

Clint swallowed. Lila and Cooper would be so upset. It was one thing to have their mother abandon them; it was another thing to have her be dead.

"Look, I know you're close to Natasha, but she's in undercover right now. She can't come home for a while. Do you have anyone else you can call for support?"

"My sister," Clint answered. His mind was now swirling with the fact that Laura was dead and he wouldn't see Nat for a while longer.

"Call her," Fury advised. "I'm sorry for your loss, Clint."

"Thank you," Clint said. Fury left then, not knowing what else to say or do. He definitely did not like giving death notifications.

**A Couple of Days Later **

Clint, Cassie, and the children were standing in the church while the minister was talking. Laura's family had been emotional and hugging Lila and Cooper. Clint knew they felt just as bad that Laura had left suddenly. They just lived too far away to visit more often. The service finished after almost an hour, and people started to leave the church. Clint saw his in laws hovering for a moment before deciding to come over. His mother in law bent down to hug the children.

"I'm just outside," Cassie said, leaving to give them space. Clint just nodded at her.

"How are you holding up?" his father in law asked, gripping Clint's shoulder in a fatherly way.

"I'm in shock," Clint said. "Then again, I've been in shock for a while now."

"I can't figure out why she left," his father in law said, shaking his head. "I just can't. She said she was happy."

"I thought she was happy too."

"And now she's gone. I just...I don't understand any of it," his father in law sighed. They watched Lila and Cooper walk away with their grandmother.

"Thank you for letting me be here," Clint said.

"Why wouldn't we? You're our son in law, and just because Laura left you doesn't mean we don't still care about you. Please call us if you ever need anything, okay?"

"Okay."

Clint felt his father in law's hand leave his shoulder, and the man walked away. Clint liked his in laws. He probably would call them one day if he needed them. Lila and Cooper still needed grandparents too. It was something to figure out. Clint caught sight of movement in the shadows then, and he felt his muscles tighten in anticipation. What was going on now? A hooded figure emerged, and his clenched his fists.

"It's me," Natasha said in a whisper, showing her face briefly.

"Tasha?"

She took his arm and pulled him somewhere private. She took her hood down once they were alone.

"I'm in serious trouble if I'm caught here," she said. "But I had to make sure you were okay."

"How did you even find out?" Clint asked.

"I couldn't reach you, so I called Fury. I got it out of him what happened, and he warned me not to come here, but I had to," she finished. She didn't really know why she had to. She was risking her entire undercover operation for this. It wasn't rational. She was learning that Clint made her act irrationally at times for some reason, and she didn't know why.

"I'm as okay as I can be," Clint reassured her. "It's shocking. I mean, now it's really final, you know? I always thought that she might come back, but now, she's never coming back."

Nat pulled him into a hug then, and he held on tightly. She realized how much she had missed him since she had been gone. It scared her.

"Don't compromise your mission. I appreciate you coming here, but you better go," Clint said after.

"I don't know when I'll be back," she said.

"It's okay."

"I'll try to call."

"I know."

They looked at one another intently.

"Be safe," he said eventually, giving her a tight smile. She nodded.

"I will."

"Daddy?" Lila's voice called.

"Go," Clint ordered Nat. If Lila saw her, it would cause more complications.

"I'll be back," she promised, squeezing his hand. He squeezed it back. Then she was gone.

...

Natasha returned to where she was staying hours after seeing Clint. She felt bad leaving him when he was hurting, but she had invested too much into this mission to blow it now. She knew it could be a long time before she saw him again. She hoped he would reach out to his sister and his in laws in her absence. She didn't know if Clint was in touch with any of the other Avengers. She doubted it. They didn't even know he had a family.

She went into the tiny kitchen, sitting and reviewing papers and plans. Thoughts of Clint had to be put on the shelf for now. Her strange feelings about him and the kids had to be shelved as well. She would figure it all out later. She absolutely could not let anyone realize she was close to Clint and his family. It could mean danger for them. She just wished she would stop having the dreams. She pulled out her gun and loaded it.

It was time to get back to work.

* * *

**I noticed that Nat was wearing that arrow necklace in Winter Soldier, so I added that moment where Clint gave it to her in here (if he was the one to give it to her, and I'm assuming yes because I want it to be yes lol). I will be time jumping a bit to the events of Winter Soldier in my next chapter. **

**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**


	7. Fighting for Humanity

**Gah, I know. Waaay too long since my last update. I kept getting distracted by other fandoms, then things hit the fan in my personal life, then I got sick, then it was Christmas, then I got sick again...such is life. Anyway, I still hope there are readers out there interested in this. We are going through the events of The Winter Soldier in pieces. I didn't want to do a rewrite of the entire film, just some of the parts. Happy reading!**

* * *

**2014**

Fury was gone. Nat didn't know what to do. She gripped her head in her hands as she finally sat down. Steve was in the other room, but she needed to be alone. Fury's body on the stretcher-like bed was too difficult to stand next to anymore. Fury was the reason she had this family, that she had a better purpose than the one she was created for. Well, Clint was also a big factor in this, but it was ultimately Fury's final decision that saved her. Losing him was like losing a limb. She felt lost and angry and hopeless, but she knew he'd want her to buck up and find the bastard who killed him, and she would because she already knew it was the Winter Soldier who had killed Fury. There was an assassin she had tried for so long to locate and discover his true identity, but she had failed every time. This time, she wouldn't fail.

"Nat?"

She turned to see Steve in the doorway. She found herself angry at him for some reason, that it was his fault Fury was dead. She stood and pressed her hand against Fury's cheek one last time before pushing past Steve.

"Hey!" he called after her. She knew he wouldn't give up, so she whirled to face him.

"What?" she snapped.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"What was he even doing in your apartment?" she demanded.

"I have no idea," Steve replied. She narrowed her eyes at him. He was totally lying. Then they were interrupted, and Steve was ordered to return to SHIELD immediately.

"Deception is not your gift," Nat told him before turning and walking away. She felt herself start to cry again, thinking about Fury. She pulled out her phone, her hand hovering over Clint's number, but she couldn't do it. He'd want to find her, to help her feel better because that's what he did, and she couldn't take him away from his children, his retirement. She really missed him, though. That constant ache was growing bigger every day. She turned back one last time to see Steve hiding something in the vending machine. She knew damn well it was the flash drive.

...

She waited, chewing slowly on her gum. She knew he'd be back. Sure enough, he showed up with a hood pulled over his head. She watched him look for the flash drive, the panic rippling off of him when he couldn't find it. She walked up behind him.

"I hear the minty kind is good," she commented. Steve spun to see her, and she could tell he was pissed. He grabbed her arm and propelled her backwards into an empty room.

"What have you done with it?" he demanded.

"I stuck it in a safer place than a public vending machine, that's for sure," she replied.

"Nat," he said, his tone a warning.

"Why the hell would Fury even give it to you?" she asked.

"What's on it?" he countered.

"I have no idea."

"Quit lying to me."

"Honestly? I really just let on that I know everything. Knowledge is power right? Who said the knowledge had to exist in the first place?"

"Fury hired the pirates, right?"

"Well, that sounds about right."

"Come on, Nat," Steve said angrily.

"Look, I know who killed Fury," Nat said to him. "He's a ghost, someone that most intelligence agencies don't acknowledge exists, and the ones that do call him the Winter Soldier. He's done about two dozen hits in the last fifty years. I've seen him myself. Five years ago, he shot the nuclear engineer I was trying to protect, and he went through me to do it." She showed Steve the scar on her side from it.

"I see," Steve said.

"He's a dead end. I've tried finding him, and I never get anywhere."

"Well, I think it's time to find out just exactly what this ghost wants from us," Steve said. Nat admired his determination, but she also felt a bit anxious as to what they were going to be up against.

...

Clint balanced the paper grocery bag on his hip as he tried to unlock the door. Lila and Cooper were with their grandparents for the night. He was a bit relieved to have a night off to be honest. He turned on his radio, and he set to work putting the groceries away and starting dinner. He looked over at the boxes by the door, and he felt his heart twist. They were all of Laura's things. After she'd left, he hadn't had the heart to go through them, but after she died, he forced himself to start. He saved some things for Lila of course, and he kept some things he thought Cooper might like.

For the hundredth time that day, he thought about Nat and wondered where she was and what she was doing. He relived their last few interactions they'd had together. Was she also picking up on the same thing he was? He wasn't even sure what it was, to be honest. He'd always been close to Nat and felt comfortable around her. He knew he couldn't bear to lose her. Thinking about her possibly hurt somewhere made him want to rip apart the Earth to find her. Was that normal when you were just friends? He felt a little confused. He sighed and turned on the news. Wherever Nat was, he hoped she was safe.

...

Nat had to say that the chain of events that led her to being chased by the Winter Soldier was enough to last her for a while. Just seeing that bastard's face was enough to make her anger rise high enough to want to rip his eyes out. She slid her phone out of sight with her recording playing. She knew the Winter Soldier would fall for it, and he did. After his bomb went off, she launched herself onto him. They fought, and he threw her off. She got to her feet and started running. She knew she wasn't a match for him in a hand to hand combat.

"Move! MOVE!" she shouted at the pedestrians. She heard the gunshot and then felt the searing pain in her shoulder. She fell from the impact, gasping in pain. She looked up to see the Winter Soldier about to finish her off. She found herself thinking about Clint, seeing his face and his smile in her mind. She also saw Lila and Cooper. She hated how upset they'd be if she never came back. This was the end, and she didn't get to say goodbye. She never broke eye contact with the Winter Soldier, waiting for it to come.

"Argh!" Steve shouted, landing on the Winter Soldier, and knocking him out of the way. Nat pulled herself to a safer place. She couldn't see her wound, but it felt bad enough. There was quite a bit of blood. She spied the grenade launcher the Winter Soldier had dropped, and she picked it up, aiming it at him and waiting for the right time to fire. She got her chance, and she fired. The Winter Soldier disappeared, much to her frustration, and soon she, Sam, and Steve were surrounded by HYDRA agents. As they were led away, Steve tried to bring up she needed medical attention. She felt glad that he cared enough to notice she was bleeding out pretty good. In the back of the van, one of the agents revealed themselves to be Maria Hill, who took out the other HYDRA agents easily enough, and Nat had never been so happy to see her in her life.

"Easy," Steve said, helping her down through the hole in the van that was created for their escape. Maria led them to a waiting car, and they bolted. Nat felt herself getting a bit woozy from blood loss. Steve kept a hold of her as they got to their secret location and got out. Sam was starting to look worried now himself.

"Come on," Maria said. "We'll get you looked at, but first...there's someone you need to see."

She led them to a room where Nick Fury, alive and somewhat well, was lying in a bed and staring back at them.

It was the final straw. All the grief and anger and confusion (not to mention the blood loss) piled on at once, and Nat began to fall onto the floor, losing consciousness. She suddenly desperately wanted the one person who was so far away.

"Cli-" she tried.

"What?" Steve asked. "Nat? Nat?!"

Then it was black.

...

When she opened her eyes, Clint was sitting beside her. She blinked.

"There she is," Clint said, smiling at her. He reached to touch her cheek, brushing hair out of the way.

"You came," she responded. "But...how are you even here?" How was it even allowed? She felt confused.

"Fury called."

So he had heard her trying to say Clint's name after all. Nat felt embarrassed suddenly.

"The kids?"

"Cassie's got them. Look, I can't get involved in this...whatever it is you're doing," Clint started.  
"No, I know..."

"But when Fury told me you'd been shot, I had to make sure you were okay," he finished. "You are okay, right?"

"I think so."

"I told you," he said, picking up the necklace that was in the bag of her belongings beside her bed. "I would keep you safe."

"If you call getting shot being kept safe, then I worry what danger looks like," Nat teased.

"You didn't die, did you?" he pointed out.

"It was luck."

"All right," Clint laughed, putting it down. He knew a losing battle when he saw one. He gripped her hand with his. The thought of losing her was unbearable. Seeing her in a hospital bed was horrible. She looked small and vulnerable, and he knew she hated that. Nat looked him in the eyes, and she felt like there was something there that she hadn't noticed before, that he was seeing her differently somehow, but in a good way. It made her feel warm inside.

"Why does Fury look like hell?" he asked.

"It's a long story," Nat answered. "It's bad, Clint. This whole thing..."

"Say no more. I don't want to get involved."

"I wasn't going to."

"Just get home in one piece, all right?" he ordered.

"Okay," she smiled weakly. He squeezed her hand tightly one last time before forcing himself to get up and walk away. Maria had gotten him there discreetly, and she was taking him out just as discreetly.

"Thank you for calling me," Clint said to her as they walked.

"Fury just felt she could use the encouragement," Maria said. "He knows faking his own death was a devastating blow to her."

"Wait, what?" Clint asked, stopping and staring at her.

"Right. You didn't...ahem," Maria cleared her throat. She had wrongly assumed Natasha would have told him. "Let's just get you out of here."

"All right," Clint agreed. He was going to get the full story from Nat when he saw her again anyway. He just hoped she would come out of this...whatever it was...safely. That was all that mattered to him aside from Lila and Cooper.

...

Natasha had blown all of her covers. She knew that was the price to pay in order to stop HYDRA, and she didn't care. She'd make new covers. She'd reinvent herself. She knew exactly where she could go while she was lying low. She said goodbye to Steve and Sam, knowing that Steve wasn't going to rest until he found his friend, Bucky Barnes a.k.a. The Winter Soldier. She knew that had been hard for him to see his best friend act like such a villain. She knew how he felt, though, because she'd witnessed Clint do something similar after Loki got a hold of him.

It had been on hell of a fight, and she had shocked herself in order for Fury to kill Alexander Pierce, so that hurt like hell still. She was tired and sore and ready for a rest. She was just glad they had all survived to begin with and that they had stopped the worst from happening, again. It seemed that's what they did all the time. When would it ever end? It was a question she asked herself lately, but she only knew this life. Then again, there was a different kind of life that she was heading towards right now, a life that she felt unsure she deserved. She wrestled with it a lot, but it kept drawing her back again and again. As she drove her car up the familiar drive to the familiar house with the familiar family waiting inside, she wondered if her decision to come there was the right one. As the little girl squealed in recognition and ran towards her while she parked, she had a good feeling that it was, and it scared her.

* * *

**As I mentioned before, this is a Clintasha story, so there will be eventual romance. As much as I love them being close friends, I am a diehard Clintasha fan as well. Thanks for reading!**


	8. Like the Rain, I Have Fallen For You

**This chapter has a bit of cuteness in it. I just feel it's needed with everything going on in the world right now. **

* * *

"Auntie Nat!" Lila shouted, crashing into Natasha as soon as she got out of her car.

"Hey, you," Nat said back, hugging the girl tightly. Oh how she had missed this.

"Come on!" Lila exclaimed, tugging her hand to pull her towards the house. Nat followed and walked up the steps to Clint's home with Lila gripping her hand tightly. She was six now, and missing teeth. It made her look that much more adorable. Nat couldn't believe she had been gone for that long, but she had been. When she saw Cooper, she had to look twice. He had grown. He was almost to her chest, and he was only eight.

"Wow," she said, ruffling his hair. "Someone is eating their vegetables."

"Sort of," he answered with a small smile.

"I am too," Lila said.

"I bet you are," Nat smiled.

"I lost a tooth in my apple," Lila said proudly. Nat chuckled in response.

"Hey, what's all the commotion abou-" Clint stopped short upon seeing Nat standing there with his kids.

"Hi," she said.

"Hey," he replied. "I wasn't expecting you."

"I just kind of dropped in," she said, tilting her head a little. "I hope that's okay."

"It's fine. I'm glad to see you in one piece," Clint noted, smiling finally. He felt shaky inside. He hadn't been expecting to see her standing there. He worked to steady his now thumping heart. There was definitely something going on with him whenever she was around.

"Barely," Nat replied. "But we can talk about that later." She gave Cooper and Lila a meaningful look.

"Sure."

"How are things around here?"

"Um, good," Clint answered. "We're getting by."

"We put away Mummy's stuff," Lila said somberly.

"Oh," Nat said, feeling bad for Clint in that moment. She couldn't imagine putting away someone's life into boxes and either putting them into storage or getting rid of them.

"Are you staying?" Lila asked, cutting in. "You missed two of my birthdays. Two." She held up her little fingers to show Nat.

"I'm sorry," Nat replied. "Work kept me busy."

"Let me show you what I got!" Lila said, rushing to her room. Cooper went to the couch and opened his book. Nat smiled to herself. Some things didn't change.

"You didn't miss anything by not being here for her parties," Clint said. "Thank God for Cassie because a houseful of little girls all in pink with glitter everywhere was too much for me."

Nat laughed out loud at this visual.

"I kept finding glitter for weeks," Clint went on, laughing now too.

"I bet."

"See?" Lila said, coming back. She was holding a child's version of a bow and arrow. The end of the arrows were suction cups.

"Well, who could that have been from?" Nat asked, looking at Clint in an obvious way. He held up his hands innocently.

"It's never too early to start," he said defensively.

"I'm gonna be just like Daddy," Lila said proudly. "Come watch!"

"I'll see you later," Nat said as Lila took her hand again and pulled her back outside.

Clint stepped out onto the porch to watch, leaning against the post. He loved how easy Nat was around Lila and Cooper. She was a natural. He cracked a smile when she looked over to see him standing there. He wondered how long she was going to stay this time.

...

"Do another earthquake!" Lila cried, giggling. Nat put her hands on her hips and gave her a goofy look in return.

"Are you sure?" she asked, drawing it out.

"Yes!"

"Oooookay," Nat said. She looked at Cooper, who was standing in the doorway. "You know what to do."

He took off down the hallway. Then she picked Lila up and turned her upside down again, making her squeal. Then she shook her like a pop can while shouting, "Earthquake!"

"Ahhhhhh!" Lila cried through her continued giggles.

"What do we do? What do we do?" Nat asked, turning left dramatically and then right.

"The bomb shelter!" Lila exclaimed.

"Okay! Here we go!" Nat said, rushing over to their fort they had created in Lila's room after dinner. "Crawl, Lila! Crawl!"

Lila army crawled under the blanket with Nat going in after her.

"We gotta be quiet," Lila whispered dramatically. "Or the monster will find us."

"Oh no," Nat whispered back. "We don't want that."

On cue, Cooper returned on his hands and knees growling and snorting. Nat worked hard to contain her laughter. These two were hilarious, and she was having so much fun.

"It's coming!" Lila whispered, clutching Nat's arm and pretending to be scared.

"And the mysterious stranger kills the monster!" Clint's voice shouted as he jumped into view. He pretended to kill Cooper with his fake arrow, and Cooper faked dying with loud, drawn out groans. He quivered on his back on the floor, sticking his tongue out for effect.

"Yay!" Lila cried, crawling out.

"Oh, there's my princess!" Client called as she ran to him. She threw her arms around him, kissing his cheek.

"Thank you, kind stranger," she said. Then she giggled again as he pinched her side.

Nat emerged on her stomach out of the entrance of the fort and looked over at them, her chin resting in her hand as her arm leaned on the floor.

"I know you're really just putting off bedtime," Clint said to Lila then.

"Nooooo," she denied with another giggle.

"First one to finish brushing their teeth gets to pick the story being read tonight," Clint said. Cooper was on his feet from his dead position in a flash and racing to the bathroom. Lila was on his heels.

"And I'll know if you just ran water over your brush!" Clint called after them. He laughed then, sitting on his haunches.

"No wonder you're exhausted," Nat said. "And I've only been here a few hours."

"You get used to it," Clint commented, standing up. She came all the way out of the fort now and got to her feet as well.

"I'll put her bed back together," she gestured.

"Thanks."

She took down the fort carefully, leaving some of it there since not all of it had to be made from blankets. She remade Lila's bed and smoothed it out. She felt a twinge inside at the familiar thought of how she would never do this for her own child. She didn't understand why this kept coming to her mind so often. She had thought she'd made peace with it. She cleared her throat, not going down that road right now.

"Please let me pick," Lila begged as they made their way back to Nat. "Cooper's books are all dumb."

"No they're not," Cooper argued. "Yours are. They're all just girly stuff."

"Hey, hey," Clint said, putting his hands on both of their heads to stop them. "Bring me one, and I'll make the final call if it's good for both of you."

Cooper went to get one as Lila hopped up onto her bed and cuddled in beside Nat.

"The pillow is over there," Clint pointed, and Lila pouted at him.

"I wanna sit beside Auntie Nat."

"I know you do, and you get all day tomorrow to do that. For now, I need you to get into sleeping position."

Lila made a grumpy noise in response, but she crawled over to her pillow and face planted on it. Nat held back her laugh, and she could see Clint was doing the same.

"If you want to end up sleeping with the fishes, then that's the right way to sleep," he said.

"I couldn't breathe that way," Lila said, turning over and panting.

"No kidding," Clint laughed. He moved in to pull her covers up to her chin. Cooper returned with his book. Nat moved over so he could sit in the middle. Clint sat on the other side.

"What are we reading?" Lila asked.

"Hunchback of Notre Dame," Clint answered. "Is that okay?"

"I like Esmeralda!" Lila exclaimed.

"Good pick then," Clint said to Cooper, who shrugged. Nat listened as Clint read, and she felt a sense of camaraderie with Quasimodo. It's hard when you realize the person you were trusting turned out to be evil, like discovering HYDRA inside of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s operations. When Clint finished, Nat secretly thought to herself that Quasimodo should have gotten the girl. Watching the person you loved be with someone else was also hard. If Esmeralda became a widow, then maybe Quasimodo would have another chance...

"Nat?" Clint said, jolting her back to the present.

"Huh?"

"You coming?" he asked, laughing.

"Yea," she replied. Cooper was already gone. She had missed his exit from the room entirely. Lila was asleep, Clint's voice having put her to sleep. Nat followed Clint out of the room, and he shut the door quietly behind him. He went to say good night to Cooper as Nat went to sit in the living room.

The thing she was having a hard time even admitting to herself was the idea that she had feelings for Clint. She had long ago made peace with the fact they were just friends, but now that he was alone again, her old thoughts were resurfacing, the ones she had before she learned about Laura being with Clint, and she had no idea what to do with them.

"Your room is the way you left it," Clint said, returning at this point.

"Thanks."

"You doing okay?" Clint asked, peering at her. She put a smile on her face and nodded.

"Just tired."

"I won't be offended if you want to go to bed. I will also refrain from calling you old," he teased. It was only 8:30 after all.

"Ha, ha, okay," she said, smiling. They were quiet for a moment as they looked at each other.

"Thanks for coming back," Clint said after a bit.

"My pleasure," she replied. She didn't really know what else to say. He nodded as she stood to go to her room. She crawled under the covers and hoped that she wouldn't wake up screaming from her dreams like usual.

...

"She's back?" Cassie asked. Clint had called his sister after Natasha had gone to bed. He just needed to talk to someone about it.

"Yea."

"And how do you feel about that?"

"I don't know," he admitted. "I'm pretty mixed up inside."

"Do you like her?"

"What are we, teenagers?" Clint countered. Cassie laughed.

"Deflection. Sounds like a yes to me," she said. He sighed.

"She's my best friend."

"People fall for their best friends."

"I very much doubt she returns the feeling."

"Aha! You confirmed it."

"Come on, Cass, I'm trying to be serious here."

"Sorry."

"She won't feel the same," Clint said. "I know this. It's stupid to even think about."

"You won't know unless you ask," Cassie pointed out.

"I can't."

"Coward."

"If I'm wrong, it will destroy our friendship, and I'd rather have that than nothing at all," Clint insisted.

"You keep telling yourself that."

"Thanks for not helping me," Clint said. He could hear his sister grinning on the other end of the line.

"You know what you need to do," she insisted.

"I'll talk to you later."

"Don't be a coward like me," Cassie said before he hung up. Clint paused, knowing what she was referring to.

"He died," Clint said. "That's different."

"Yea, but I still wish I had told him," Cassie said, her voice growing a bit thick. "It's a very big regret of mine. And Nat could die at any point in time too, right? Think about that."

"All right, all right, I'll think about it."

"Good enough for me," Cassie said. "Talk soon, bro."

They hung up, and Clint sat there tapping his phone against the palm of his left hand, looking at the hallway where Nat's room was. He was definitely thinking about it.

* * *

**I was so looking forward to watching the Black Widow film so I could add those events to my story. I'm going to continue on without it, though, which is too bad cos I think it would have been interesting to see her family.**

**Also, I use the Marvel Wiki website for information on the characters to keep it as accurate as I can.**


	9. The Untouchable One

**This is where it gets a little bit angsty. Just bear with me!**

* * *

**A Few Days Later  
**

Natasha awoke feeling confused where she was. It took her brain about thirty seconds to put it together before Lila came rushing in and dive bombed her chest.

"Oh!" Nat gasped. The little girl wrapped her arms around Nat's neck tightly in a hug.

"I had a dream you went away again," she said. "I was really sad."

"Oh, sweetie," Nat said, feeling bad. Maybe she shouldn't have come back here. Maybe this was just going to keep hurting Lila and Cooper more than she realized.

"You'll always come back, right?" Lila asked then. "If you leave?"

"I will do my very best," Nat answered. She couldn't full out promise something she knew had a high possibility of being broken.

"Hey, what did I tell you?" Clint asked from the doorway. Lila popped her head up to look at him.

"Not to wake her up," Lila answered.

"And what is this?" he gestured.

"She was awake. I waited for her eyes to open," Lila said logically.

"She did," Nat agreed.

"Come on. Breakfast," Clint said. Lila crawled off the bed, and her knee hit Nat's bladder and making her wince.

"I get to sit beside you," Lila said to Nat triumphantly before she disappeared.

"Ninja landing?" Clint asked.

"Oh yea."

"I'll leave you to recover," he smirked. Nat got out of bed after he was gone and went to the bathroom. She came out changed and feeling more awake. She slid into her seat beside Lila and across from Cooper.

"What's on the agenda today?" she asked them.

"School," they both answered.

"Right," Nat nodded. Clint had their backpacks ready on the bench. He was washing dishes now while Lila and Cooper finished eating. The cat scurried in, rubbing Nat's legs fondly. She reached to pet her, remembering the first time she had met Bella, who mostly hid when the kids were around.

"I hope we have art today," Lila said almost wistfully. Nat noticed the fridge had a bunch of artwork on it.

"Remember what we talked about? With the paint?" Clint asked, turning to look at his daughter.

"Share," she said, bowing her head a little.

"That's right."

Cooper was quiet, and Nat wondered what was going on in his world. He wasn't as chatty as his sister.

"Okay. Coop, you got soccer after school. Lila, you're going to Nina's house while we do that."

"But I wanna be with Auntie Nat..."

"She's not going anywhere. She'll be here when you get home."

"Okay."

Nat had spent the weekend with Lila attached to her hip. She was going to be honest and say she was looking forward to some alone time. She waved when they got into the car with Clint. When they were gone, she went to the couch and landed on it hard.

It was gonna be nice to unwind.

...

Clint found himself thinking about Nat as he drove to his part time job. He had gotten the job just to keep himself occupied with something instead of sitting at home all day waiting to pick up his kids again. It was a small hardware store, and he enjoyed it.

"Morning," Henry said as he came in.

"Morning," Clint replied, tipping his head slightly. "How's it looking today?"

"Quiet as always."

"Any new stock to unload?"

"Oh yea. Boxes are out back."

"I'm on it," Clint said, heading that way. There was nothing like trivial work to keep his mind off of thinking about how he was going to tell Nat he thought he had feelings for her.

...

The rest of the week was uneventful. Nat found herself growing restless, and she kept thinking about something that she wanted to do.

She wanted to find her parents.

"You look lost," Clint said, making her look at him. They were alone sitting at his dining room table. Lila and Cooper were in bed, and they were playing Gin Rummy.

"Just thinking about something," she replied. Putting her thoughts towards her parents was better than thinking about Clint and why she felt her heart skip a beat every time she caught him looking at her. She didn't want to dare think about being with Clint. Neither of them needed to get hurt.

"You gonna make me drag it out of you piece by piece or are you gonna just tell me?" Clint asked, raising a brow as he looked at her. She knew he would too. It was better to just tell him.

"I want to go find my parents."

"Your parents?" Clint echoed.

"Yea."

"Wow."

"I know. I barely remember them, but I just...I want to see what I find out."

"When are you leaving?" he asked, knowing that was what was coming next.

"Soon."

"You know, popcorning in and out of the kids' lives is hard on them," Clint said.

"We both knew I wasn't staying here long term," Nat said back. "That I'm still going to work."

"I said it is hard on them, but I understand that you gotta do it," Clint went on. "They understand too, and when they get older, they will understand better."

Nat nodded at this. She knew, though, that the real reason she was going to find her parents was because she was running away. She could feel herself becoming too attached to Lila and Cooper, and she was certainly feeling something for Clint that she didn't know how to deal with. It was becoming more apparent every time she was alone with him.

"What I'm trying to say," he said, "is that you always have a home here, Tasha. We're in this with you. We want to be in this with you no matter how hard it seems."

"I don't know what to say," she admitted.

"You don't have to say anything. That's what a family is for," Clint finished. Nat's breath caught in her throat. He was telling her they were her family. She felt both touched and terrified. How could she be a part of a family when she couldn't even be there for a birthday?

"Gin," he said suddenly, and she looked at the cards in her hand. She had completely forgotten about the game.

Clint could tell she was flustered. This conversation was a toe in the water to see how she would react to what he really wanted to tell her. So far, he could see it wouldn't go well.

"I, uh, need some air," she said, getting up.

"Nat," he started.

"Just...let me," she stopped him. He pressed his lips together, preventing the words from coming out. He watched her go outside and felt worried. Perhaps he really had pushed it too far this time.

...

Nat paced. Here was her chance to have a normal family life, and she couldn't do it. She couldn't handle the idea of them losing her to death and becoming devastated, like with Laura. If she picked having this family, she'd have to give up her job, and she was nowhere near ready to do that, not when there was still so much red left to clear from her ledger.

And Clint.

Geez. Having feelings for Clint meant she had to be vulnerable, and that was just something she was not ready to do nor did she really know how to do it.

"Tasha," Clint said, coming out to join her. She knew he would. She knew he knew she was freaking out.

"I can't," she blurted out. She stopped pacing to look at him.

"You can't what?"

"I can't be in this family."

"What are you saying?" Clint asked, looking at her. Nat hated to see the hurt in his eyes, but it was the truth.

"This is your family, Clint, not mine," she repeated.

"You're not serious."

"I am."

"Those kids in there consider you family," he insisted.

"I can't," she said again. "Clint, I'll only just end up hurting them, hurting you."

"You don't know that..."

"I do know that. I end up hurting people, Clint. I can't do that to you or Lila or Cooper. Did you see her face when she said I missed two of her birthdays? I can't do that to her anymore."

"And leaving for good is gonna make that better? Make her hurt less?" Clint said, incredulous. "You're crazy."

She couldn't tell him the truth. She couldn't tell him that she was falling for him because that would mean something she didn't want to admit. He looked at her intensely, and she wondered if he knew anyway because he always could read her like a damn book.

"You're running," Clint said on cue, jabbing his finger in her direction. "You're scared, and you're running. I recognize this."

"I'm not running, and I'm not scared," Nat said nervously. Both were lies. He stepped closer to her, making her feel even more jittery.

"You're terrified," he said to her. "You finally got the family you've always wanted, and it terrifies you to lose it, so you leave it first."

"Clint..."

"You're terrified of getting in too deep, of being vulnerable," he went on, stopping when he was directly in front of her. "You're terrified of me."

Nat opened and closed her mouth, not knowing what to say. He was right. She was terrified. It wasn't just her getting hurt that scared her. It was him getting hurt that scared her more.

"I know you," he said, putting his finger on the spot just above her heart.

"Then you'll know why I have to go," she said quietly.

"But the thing is, Tasha," he said back. "You don't have to go."

She felt the tightness in her throat. Of course he was right. She didn't have to, but she was doing them both a favor by going. She'd only end up hurting him again, and she knew that underneath that tough exterior, he was fragile after everything Laura had put him through before dying. She didn't want to break him into pieces if it didn't work out.

She walked past him to her room and quickly began to pack. She didn't have much, and she was done in five minutes. She felt terrible for just leaving the kids without saying goodbye. She knew Clint would tell them she had gone to work, and they would accept it. He was still standing in the yard when she returned.

"Don't do it," he begged.

"Goodbye, Clint," she said, moving past him to her car. He caught her by the elbow and spun her back to face him. He had to try. He had to know. He'd been feeling it building ever since she had come back. He knew she knew it too.

He crashed his lips into hers, putting one hand behind her head to pull her in with the other wrapped around her waist tightly. He felt her kiss back, and he rejoiced inside. He'd been right after all. But then, it stopped. She broke away.

"No," she said, pushing him back. He held her arms tightly, refusing to let her go.

"Tasha..."

"No, Clint. No. This won't work," she shook her head vehemently.

"Don't be scared," he urged. He knew that's what it was.

"I can't do this," she said firmly, tears in her eyes now. "I'm sorry. I can't hurt you. I can't do this." She tugged out of his grasp, and began to walk away quickly.

"Tasha!" he called, starting to chase after her.

"Don't follow me!" she shouted back over her shoulder.

"Natasha!"

She got into her car and started it. He was still trying to get to her, but she put it in gear and backed away from him fast. He stopped and watched her drive away, looking back at him just before disappearing around the corner. His heart ached, and he wanted to scream. It was there, right there, but she wouldn't let him in. She couldn't do it. She was gone. He didn't know if he'd ever see her again.

...

Natasha was crying as she drove. The farther she went, the more she knew she wasn't going to turn back. He was right about her. He was right about all of it. She just couldn't allow herself to have it even though she really wanted it in her heart of hearts. She wiped at her eyes quickly. She'd put some time and space between them. Once she did that, she could try to see the kids. Or maybe it was better just leaving it that she was gone to work and not coming back. She didn't know anymore. She tried not to think of their reactions when finding her gone in the morning.

Messages came up on her phone from him then.

**Tasha, please come back.**

**Tasha, I'm scared too, but in a good way. We can do this. I know we can.**

**Tasha, please.**

There was nothing for a moment until one final message came up.

**I will always be here.**

His kiss had been intoxicating. She had imagined it a lot years ago and what it would be like. Now that she knew, it was almost making her turn around, but she kept going. She couldn't hurt him, and she wouldn't. He'd move on. He'd be all right.

The thing was, she knew she was hurting him right now by walking away, and that made her feel even worse.

* * *

**The next chapter will be getting into the events of Age of Ultron. Things will come back around again I promise. Stay tuned!**


	10. Let Love In

**One Year Later-2015**

Clint was doing dishes when Fury showed up. Lila and Cooper were playing in the backyard, so they didn't see him.

"Ah, the domestic life," Fury commented as he came inside. Clint gave a dry laugh.

"Someone's gotta do it," he said.

"Things haven't gotten better have they?" Fury asked. Clint hated how sympathetic he was being right now.

"It's been rough, but we're getting better each day," he answered, picking up the towel to dry the dishes he'd finished washing. Lila and Cooper kept asking where Nat was and if she was coming back. He hated not having an answer for them. He found himself a little angry at Nat for just walking out that way even though he knew why she did. She needed the time. He knew that.

Fury just nodded. He had known that Natasha had left a year earlier, and he wondered how this was going to go down.

"So why are you here, Fury? You know I'm retired," Clint said, not looking at him as he put the plate away. Fury crossed his arms and leaned against the counter, debating on how to begin.

"We found Loki's scepter," he said finally.

"And?"

"I'm bringing together the Avengers..."

"Stop right there," Clint said, holding up his hand. "I'm retired."

"You said that already," Fury noted. "But we could really use your help."

"Not interested."

"Is it because of Natasha?"

Clint set down the plate he'd been drying with a bang on the countertop, glaring at Fury.

"It has nothing to do with her. I have kids, Fury. Two kids with no mother. If I'm gone, what's left for them, huh? I'm sorry, but my answer is no."

"I get it," Fury sighed, moving to leave. "It's probably for the best anyway. Banner and Natasha seem to have struck up something. It'd be difficult for you to watch."

Clint bristled inside, clenching his fists. What was Fury trying to do here? Motivate him by claiming Nat had moved on? He wouldn't put it past him.

"Good for her," he managed to say.

"I know you don't mean that," Fury chuckled, his hand on the door. "I'm just saying, if you show up, it might work in your favor."

"Why? Because I'm fighting to save the world again?"

"I know it was a reason she left. One of many, I assume. The main thing is she's not done saving the world yet."

"So you're her therapist now?" Clint asked sarcastically.

"I listen. Come or don't come, Clint, it's up to you," Fury said. "You can let me know by tomorrow." He went out the door then, letting it bang shut behind him. Clint muttered to himself furiously as he paced the kitchen. How dare Fury come here and throw this at him? How dare he say that Nat had moved on with Banner of all people? It was ridiculous. Nat wasn't able to be vulnerable with someone, not yet. Clint had realized this when she had walked away from him a year ago and never looked back. He was pretty sure that wouldn't change in a year. Or would it? Now he got thinking about it. Going meant seeing her again. What would take place then?

"Dad?" Lila called, coming in. She was seven now, and Cooper was nine. They had grown up so fast.

"Yes?"

"Who was that?"

So she had seen him. He should have remembered that Lila was going through a bit of an eavesdropping phase.

"My old boss."

"Are you going to work again?"

"No, sweetheart. I'm not," Clint answered.

"Why not?"

"I'm retired. I want to stay with you guys," Clint said, smiling at her. She looked worried.

"But what if the world is in danger? Don't you protect us?"

"I can from here."

"But what if they need you there?"

"Lila, I'm not going anywhere, okay?" he said, wondering why she was so insistent.

"If you go, you could bring Auntie Nat back," she went on. Clint swallowed hard. The kids had missed her so much when she had left. He wondered if Nat realized that.

"I'm not going."

"It's okay if you do. I'd feel safer," she said, giving him a sad look before heading to her room. Clint sighed and gripped his head. Logically, he knew what to do. Emotionally, he knew what was going to happen. Lila's speech didn't help any either.

He picked up the phone, finding the number he was looking for and dialing.

"Yea?"

"I'm in," Clint replied.

"I barely made it to my car," Fury commented. "All right. I'll come back and fill you in on what's been happening."

They hung up, and Clint wondered just what the hell he was doing.

...

Natasha felt herself being anxious. She wasn't sure why this was. The last year had been mainly her discovering her parents were dead and coming back to do raids with Steve, Thor, and Banner. She had told Steve about her parents, their graves behind the chain linked fence.

"Hello, children," Tony's voice said. She looked up. He always made an entrance that one. They had found Loki's scepter and were waiting for further orders from Fury, who had seemingly disappeared for the last two days.

"Hey, Tony," Steve answered.

"Did ya miss me?" Tony grinned.

If Tony was here, then that meant...

"Hey," Bruce Banner said, appearing as well. He looked tired. It had been a little while since she had seen him. They had come up with a type of "lullaby" for him to help make the Hulk disappear out on the field. She thought it worked well, but she felt that Banner still had trust issues with her.

"Back together again so soon," Steve commented. On cue, Thor stepped into the room.

"You called?" he said.

"Did you all take the same bus or something?" Steve asked. Tony snorted.

"As if. He can fly, remember?" he answered, pointing at Thor, who grinned.

Natasha listened to the friendly bantering for a moment before looking down at her hands. It didn't feel right without Clint, but she hadn't seen or spoken to him in a year. She had been afraid to. She'd had the phone in her hand many times, but the fear always stopped her. He was probably very angry at her, and there was no way he was leaving his kids to come help them when he was their only parent left.

_Those kids in there consider you family._

His words rang in his ears, and she bit her lip. She had turned her back on them and ran. What kind of person was she?

"The gang's all here," Fury said, coming in then. "Let's get started."

"Barton," Tony said, nodding at him. Clint had come in behind Fury quietly. His eyes immediately searched out Nat in the room at the opposite end.

Her eyes snapped to attention at the sound of his name, meeting his. Her heart almost stopped, and she felt tingling all over. Fury glanced between both of them briefly before continuing his pep talk. They were going to Sokovia to get Loki's scepter back. Natasha barely listened. All she kept thinking about was who had the kids. Cassie must be there. He wouldn't leave them alone. Lila would be seven...another birthday Nat had missed. She felt bad all over again. One of these days, she would be there for that little girl's birthday. Cooper's too. He'd be nine, closing in on double digits for age.

"I thought you were retired," Steve said to Clint once Fury was finished and conversing with Maria Hill quietly.

"I was," Clint answered.

"So what changed your mind?"

"Fury was pretty convincing."

Nat could see Clint looking at Banner and then back at her. She frowned. Had Fury implied she and Banner had a thing going? She almost laughed at how silly that sounded. It would be a way to convince Clint to come back, though. She had to hand it to Fury, he knew how to move his puppets.

"Your flight is waiting," Fury said again after a moment. "I suggest you get on it quickly."

Thor and Steve walked out together, talking. Tony was next followed by Banner. Fury gestured for Maria to walk out with him, leaving Clint and Natasha alone together.

"I didn't expect to see you," she commented.

"Now or ever again?" he asked. She bowed her head. She deserved that.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"I'm not here to fight with you," he told her. "I'm here because my daughter feels safer knowing that I'm stopping something bad from happening."

"How are they?"

"They miss you," Clint answered. He turned without another word and went after the others. Nat hugged herself and held back her sudden tears. Then she regained her composure and tailed behind.

...

It was a quiet jet ride. Banner was trying to sleep...or meditate. Nat wasn't sure which. Tony was flying and trying to explain something to Thor while Steve listened. Nat was sitting across from Clint, who wasn't looking at her now. She wanted to tell him that she still had feelings for him. She wanted to tell him she made a mistake by running, but she also knew she wasn't ready to leave the Avengers just yet. All of it had to be put on hold until she knew she could walk away knowing she had done her part.

"Ten minutes," Tony called back to them.

Nat felt her adrenaline start to build. She checked her weapons again, making sure they were in working order. They were going to land and then go in on foot to give the element of surprise. Steve went to stand next to his motorcycle. Clint climbed into the back of the jeep, getting his arrows ready.

"You driving?" Steve asked Nat, gesturing to it.

"Uh huh," she answered. No one said anything else until the jet was on the ground, and they exited.

"Aaaaaand march," Tony said, taking off into the air. Thor flung himself forward in response. Steve started his bike and rode off, and Nat backed the jeep out and went after him. Banner was in the passenger seat with a gun, but before long, they were met by HYDRA soldiers, and Banner started to become Hulk, so he jumped out. Nat drove and shot her gun at the same time. She could hear Clint firing off arrows in the back. They eventually skidded sideways into a log, but they both expertly jumped out and landed on their feet.

"Shit," Tony said in their comms.

"Language," Steve replied. "JARVIS, how's it looking up there?"

"Did he seriously just say 'language?'" Tony interrupted. "Are we just gonna let that slide?"

"I'm sorry," Steve said, sighing. "It just came out."

"Okay, Dad," Tony replied sarcastically.

Nat stopped listening as JARVIS explained about the structure once those two were finished. She was focusing on not dying. After battling for a bit, she caught sight of Barton across from her getting thrown by something. She ducked a bullet, almost losing concentration out of her fear of Barton getting hurt. She turned again to see him get hit by a blast and fall.

"No!" she shouted, racing over to him and crashing into the ground beside him. He was groaning. "Guys, Clint's hit."

"I knew I shoulda stayed home," Clint said, staring at the sky as she worked to stop the bleeding.

"You'll be all right," she promised. The gunfire around her was getting to be a bit much, however. "Can someone deal with the bunker?" She turned to see Hulk smash right through it, annihilating everyone. The bullets stopped.

"Thanks," she said. She turned back to see Clint looking at her.

"I'm not mad," he told her. Of course he knew she was thinking that.

"Really? It kind of seems you are."

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to see you," he countered. He put his hand over top of hers, which was pressing into his wound to stop it from bleeding. She knew he had a point.

"I'm sorry I left," she blurted. "I just...I didn't..."

"It's okay," he stopped her, squeezing her hand. He groaned again, and she looked to see the bleeding was getting worse.

"Guys, Clint is hit really bad," she said into the comms. "He's gotta get out of here."

"I'll get him," Thor answered. "We'll head back to the jet."

"I'll see you later," Clint said to her. Nat wanted to say more, but Thor appeared, and he hoisted Clint up like he weighed nothing. Then they were gone.

...

Natasha sat with Clint on the flight back home. Steve had secured Strucker, and Tony had secured the scepter. Natasha had brought Banner back out of Hulk mode, and he was now listening to opera on his headphones. Nat wondered if he was okay. She always meant to have a conversation with him that was more than just about what they were doing on a mission.

"I'm all right," Clint was saying on his phone. "Just a flesh wound."

Nat couldn't help but overhear his sister giving him a tongue lashing for getting hurt.

"I know, I know. I'm coming home in once piece. I promise," Clint said. "Put them on the phone."

Nat tensed. He was talking to Lila and Cooper. They were right there. She could just reach for the phone...

"Yes, she's here," Clint said, looking at Nat suddenly. She froze. "She's okay. I'll ask her."

He covered the phone with his hand.

"Ask me what?" she asked.

"Lila wants to talk to you," he replied. Nat felt her breathing become irregular. She hadn't talked to Lila in so long.

"Okay," she nodded. She took the phone gingerly from him. "Hey, you."

"I miss you," Lila said. "When are you coming home?"

"I don't know if I am," Nat said honestly. "I have a lot of work to do."

"Please come home," Lila begged. "Even if it's only for a day. I just wanna see you."

Nat could feel Clint watching her. The truth was, she really wanted to see Lila too. And Cooper.

"I'll try," she said after a moment.

"Okay."

"Can I talk to Cooper?"

"Sure."

Nat listened as Lila handed the phone to her brother.

"Hi," he said, coming on.

"Hey, bud. How are you?"

"Good."

"Everything going okay?"

"Yea."

"That's good."

"Can I talk to my Dad?" Cooper asked. Nat swallowed. She knew Cooper was upset with her still for disappearing. She could tell. He had been hit the hardest when Laura had left. She knew he was experiencing those feelings of abandonment all over again. She had never meant to do that to him.

"Sure," she said, handing Clint back the phone. She stood and walked away as they talked. She found herself next to Banner, who removed his headphones and looked at her.

"Good game out there," she said, joking half-heartedly. "At least the lullaby worked better this time."

"I wasn't exactly expecting to go Code Green," Banner admitted.

"Well, without you, it would not have gone so well," she told him, looking back at Clint, who was still on the phone. "And Clint would have died."

"Even though I want to hear that, I don't want to hear that," Banner replied.

"Are you ever going to trust me?" she asked.

"It's not you I have the trust issue with," he answered. Natasha wasn't sure what that meant. She asked Thor what the report was on Hulk, and he somehow managed to make Banner feel worse with his response. Thankfully, Tony interrupted and asked if Dr. Cho could set up in Banner's lab. Nat hoped that Dr. Cho could help Clint. She didn't want him to have permanent damage. She looked at him as he talked on the phone. She had felt genuine terror at the thought of losing him before telling him how she felt. Maybe she couldn't put it on hold after all.

**A Few Hours Later**

Nat found Clint in the bathroom examining the part of his body Dr. Cho had fixed up.

"Can't even tell," she commented. He turned, startled, dropping his shirt to hide it again.

"No, you can't."

"You okay?"

"Yea. I'm fine," he answered.

"Listen," she said, leaning against the counter. "I want to talk about...before."

"I'm listening," Clint nodded. He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms. Nat cleared her throat. It was now or never.

"You were right. I was running. I couldn't handle the thought of being in your family and then being ripped away from it somehow, causing you all pain," she started. "I don't know how to be vulnerable, but I'm trying. This is me trying. Right now."

Clint didn't say anything, waiting for her to continue.

"My biggest fear is having something I really care about be taken away from me," she went on. "If I open up, will it cost me? Will it somehow put you and the kids in danger? If I let myself have what I really want, am I just setting myself up for major hurt when it disappears?"

"We're not going anywhere," Clint said then. "I'm not going anywhere."

"Not voluntarily," she pointed out.

"Give me some credit, Tasha," he said, laughing a little. "I can handle myself."

"You got taken over by Loki's scepter and you got shot today," she gestured. "I'm not feeling so confident about that right now."

"The one time I get overpowered by a god, and you will never let me live it down," he said, shaking his head. She couldn't help it. She laughed.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"It's good to hear you laugh," he replied. They both stood there looking at each other.

"I really do care for you, Clint," she said. "If I'm honest, it's more than just care. I think deep down it has always been more than just care. I just didn't want to see it."

He nodded slowly. Nat wasn't sure what to do next. She had put herself out there and was waiting to see what he'd do with it.

Clint had to admit he was surprised that she was being so open with him. Their year apart had obviously done something to help her with that. The way she was looking at him told him she was nervous about his response. Instead of using words, he moved closer to her and put his arm around her waist, his face next to hers. He took in her facial expression briefly before kissing her gently.

This time, she did not pull away.

When they did stop, she felt very out of breath and dizzy, but in a good way.

"If only I had stopped the car a year ago," she said.

"No," Clint shook his head. "You needed this time in order to get where you are right now."

"I'm not finished with the Avengers..." she started.

"I know," he cut her off. "And that's fine. Come home when you're ready, but at least now I know how you feel about me."

She smiled at him and was about to kiss him again when Banner knocked on the door, coming into view. Nat regretted not closing it earlier.

"Oh, hey," he said, seeing them. "Um, sorry. I just..."

"It's okay," Nat said, moving away from Clint and coming to the door. "We were just making sure you couldn't really tell Clint's new skin from his old skin."

"Ah," Banner nodded. He was visibly uncomfortable.

"You mind not mentioning that to anyone?" Nat asked hopefully.

"I won't."

"Thanks," she smiled. She and Clint walked away together, trying to keep straight faces as they went to join the others downstairs, leaving Banner to wonder just what exactly he had witnessed.


	11. Monsters in Your Head

**You've probably guessed that I'm updating so quickly because I've been at home due to this virus. I am starting work again tomorrow, though, so I might not be updating as fast. Here's another chapter anyway to conclude my weekend writing fest. Cheers!**

* * *

Natasha spent the next few days in a daze almost. She and Clint had agreed to keep things simple and slow for now. It was still so new, and they wanted to take their time making this transition from friends to more than friends. She was at the Avengers compound getting ready for Tony's party, which was happening that night. She slipped on her cream and black colored dress and looked at herself in the mirror. She didn't wear dresses too often, but it wasn't because of how they looked on her. She just considered herself more of a pants type of girl. She put on her lipstick and earrings and adjusted her hair. It was short again, which made it easier to look after.

"You ready?" Clint asked, knocking and sticking his head inside her room.

"Almost," she answered.

"You clean up nice," he commented. She gave him a look, and he had a twinkle in his eye. She rolled her eyes at his teasing.

"You look the same," she replied.

"What? This?" Clint asked, looking down at his jeans and plaid shirt. "I added a leather jacket this time, though. Dressed it up."

"And it made it so much better," she joked. She was doing final touches when he came up behind her.

"You know you don't have to do anything to look beautiful," he told her. The smile on her face grew. He was just so damn sweet at times.

"So you say," she said, turning around from the mirror.

"It's the truth," he insisted. They stood there looking at each other for a moment before he leaned in to kiss her. It was just something he couldn't get enough of.

Nat started to laugh when they pulled apart.

"What?" he asked.

"That shade of lipstick just looks so good on you," she winked. He moved his hand to his mouth to rub it off, looking at it.

"Huh. When you're right, you're right," he joked.

"Now I gotta fix it," she said, turning back around to do so.

"Okay so no making out at the party. Got it," he nodded. She gave him a small shove on her way to the door. He laughed as he followed. Nat loved how at ease they still were with each other. She had briefly worried this change in their relationship would change that. She had worried for nothing.

...

The party had been a good time. It ended with Clint claiming Thor's hammer was a party trick, which led to them all trying to lift it. The only person who budged it a little was Steve, and Thor got a worried look on his face until Steve couldn't pick it up and gave up trying. Nat had a small suspicion that Steve could pick it up and just didn't want to hurt Thor's ego. There was just something in Steve's expression that flickered ever so quickly that anyone else would have missed it, but Nat had seen it. It had been a look of shock that was quickly recovered and replaced with a look of defeat. She watched Steve sit back down and keep looking at the hammer with almost a sense of wonder.

"You gonna try?" Banner asked, looking at Natasha. True to his word, he hadn't said anything about her and Clint. She had caught him watching the two of them off and on all night, though, but she and Clint had been careful to not let on anything.

"Unlike you boys, I don't need an answer to that question," she shook her head, but she was smiling.

"It's gotta be something to do with Thor's fingerprints," Tony was saying.

"No, you're all just not worthy," Thor replied, picking it up easily and spinning it in the air before catching it again. Everyone began to disagree until a noise cut them short. Nat turned to see a robotic looking person standing there looking back at them.

"How could killers be worthy?" it asked.

"Hey, JARVIS," Tony said a little anxiously. He didn't get a response.

The stranger was going on about strings and being in a dream and killing a good guy. Nat looked over at Clint, who was looking just as concerned. When Thor asked who sent him, the stranger answered in Tony's own voice, stating he wanted a suit of armor around the world.

"It's Ultron!" Banner exclaimed.

"Indeed, and I'm ready for my mission," Ultron stated.

"And what mission is that exactly?" Nat asked.

"Creating peace for our time," Ultron answered. On cue, all of Tony's Iron Legion bots burst through the wall. There was chaos, but between them all they managed to destroy the bots. They were left standing and looking at Ultron. He claimed that peace would be accomplished by making the Avengers extinct. Thor destroyed him with his hammer, but Ultron was still in the room, singing a rather creepy song about no strings being on him. Banner was the first one running to the lab with the others behind him.

"You all right?" Clint asked, touching Nat's arm as they walked in the back.

"Yea. You?"

"Just dandy. So much for going home," he sighed. It had been his plan after the party.

"We'll sort this out fast," she promised. He just nodded.

"That was some peace he brought upon us there," he commented as they walked.

"It's all gone," Banner was saying as they reached the lab. "He's taken it all and escaped through the internet."

"He's been in all of our files and surveillance," Nat said, realizing. "So he knows more about us than we know about each other."

"He could go for nukes," Rhodey said, looking at Maria Hill. "We gotta make some calls...if we still can."

"Nukes? Is that what he's gonna use to kill us all?" Nat asked.

"He said extinction," Steve corrected.

"Same thing," Nat pointed out. "The dinosaurs are extinct, Steve, and where are they? They're dead!"

"Who did he kill?" Clint asked, cutting in. "It was just us here."

"JARVIS," Tony said, looking at the demolished pieces of JARVIS's consciousness on the screen.

"Well, that makes sense since JARVIS would have shut him down," Steve concluded.

"Yea, but he didn't have to destroy him. He could have just assimilated him," Banner pointed out. "That's pure rage right there, not a strategy."

On cue, Thor picked up Tony by the throat.

"It's contagious," Clint noted.

Nat stopped paying attention, her mind racing. Would Ultron know about Lila and Cooper? Were they in Clint's file? She suddenly felt afraid. No. They were a well hidden secret. They wouldn't be in his file. Surely not?

Her attention was brought back when Tony was put down and he lit into Banner after Thor finished lighting into him about messing with things he didn't understand. Of course, Tony brought up how he put the rocket into space again, like they had forgotten.

"We're going to do this together," Steve finally said once things calmed down. "Win or lose, we do it together. We can find Ultron. We just gotta make the world a bit smaller first in order to do so."

"Then let's get to it," Nat said.

...

Clint found her back at the compound already changed back into her usual black attire. They were going to regroup and figure out their next steps.

"Please tell me that Lila and Cooper are not in your file," Nat said, catching sight of Clint.

"They aren't," he answered. "Fury kept them out of the books."

"Thank God."

"I called them. They're okay. They understand I gotta work a bit longer," he went on. "I told them you said hi."

"Thanks."

"So what are we dealing with here? A murderous robot? Somehow I see this ending badly."

"He's up against us," Nat said, putting her hand on his shoulder. "No one lasts against us."

"For now," Clint replied.

"So morbid," she tutted. They rested their foreheads together for a moment.

"Someday we are gonna be up against something that is impossible to beat," he said. "That's just my logic."

"Well, let's hope your logic is wrong," Nat said back.

She really wanted his logic to be wrong.

...

After figuring out where Ultron was going to be next, they found him trying to make off with vibranium. Another battle took place, but Natasha soon felt weird, like someone had suddenly possessed her. She stumbled as visions made their way into her mind. She tried to see the others. Was this happening to them too? Could they see what she was seeing? Hear what she was hearing?

Somehow she had transported back to her Red Room training.

"You must attend the ceremony. It will give you your place in this world," Madame B was saying.

"There is no place in this world for me."

Natasha felt like she was falling, but she wasn't. She sank down on the set of stairs, still seeing and hearing things.

Lila and Cooper lying dead on the floor.

"No..."

Clint lying outside dead on the ground. Smoke from a fire wafting around them.

"No!"

Madame B's face suddenly right in hers saying, "This is all. Your. Fault."

"NOOOO!"

"Hey, hey!" Clint's voice said. Nat vaguely felt hands on her face and arms. "Tasha? Hey! Come on back."

She grabbed his arms tightly, gasping for air. He was kneeling in front of her, holding her shoulders firmly.

"It's all right. You're okay. It was just a mind trick. It wasn't real."

Nat stared at him. Everything she feared had played out in front of her. She looked around the room they were in, expecting to see Madame B standing there looking at her with a smirk on her face.

"Look at me," Clint said, putting his hand under her chin and bringing her face back towards him. "None of it was real."

"But it was..."

"Stop," he ordered. "She was messing with you. What did you see?"

She couldn't tell him. He had no idea about her Red Room experience, about what they had done to her. She certainly didn't want to tell him about seeing him and the kids dead.

"I don't want to...to talk about it," she said. Clint debated pushing, but he decided not to. If she wanted to tell him, she would tell him.

"Come on," he said, lifting her up to her feet. "Let's get out of here."

"Where is everyone?"

"Well, Tony is dealing with a mind warped Hulk right now, so he's busy with that. We're going to meet them back at the jet."

"She got Banner too?"

"Yea. She tried to get me, but I wouldn't have it."

"Who else?"

"I think Steve and Thor got hit with it too. Tony seems okay."

"Ultron?"

"He got away again."

Nat said nothing else as Clint helped her on the jet. When Hulk was finally taken out, everyone boarded the jet and joined them. Clint offered to fly, and no one argued. Nat sat huddled in the back, listening to Maria talk about Hulk's damage and telling them to hide until they find Ultron again.

"So where do we go?" Steve asked. Nat already knew exactly what Clint was going to say before he said it.

"I know a safe house," Clint answered.

"Where?" Tony asked.

"A few hours from here. Just sit tight."

Nat wondered what Lila and Cooper's reactions were going to be. She felt a lot of anticipation, knowing she was going to see them again very soon.

...

"Here we go," Clint said, helping Nat up again and walking her off the jet. They had parked in the field a little ways from his house. The others followed carefully.

"Safe house?" Tony asked, looking around.

"Yup," Clint answered. They reached his front porch, and Nat could hear Lila inside talking excitedly.

"This seems weird to me," Tony was saying behind them.

"Hey, anyone home?" Clint called.

"Daddy!" Lila shouted, racing into view. Clint released Nat briefly to accept a hug from his daughter.

"Daddy?" Tony asked, surprised.

"Auntie Nat!" Lila squealed next, hugging her tightly.

"Auntie Nat?" Tony echoed. "Does anyone else find this strange or, um, shocking?"

"Dad," Cooper said, coming in next and grabbing hold of his father.

"I'm all right," Clint promised. Cooper looked at the others, who were staring back at Clint and his two children with shock.

"It's about time you showed u-" Cassie stopped short upon seeing the group. "Oh. Hello."

"Is this the wife?" Tony asked, gesturing.

"Sister," Clint answered.

"No wife?" Tony pressed.

"Tony," Nat said, a warning in her tone. He gave her a confused look back.

"Mummy's dead," Lila said matter-of-factly.

"Oh," Tony replied. He felt like an idiot now.

"We're not staying long," Clint advised Cassie, "but we need somewhere to lay low for a bit until something comes our way."

"It's your house," Cassie shrugged. Nat caught her sneaking a peek at Steve then.

"Who are you?" Lila asked, looking up at Thor, who seemed rattled beyond the surprise of finding out Clint had a family. He didn't answer as he walked out the front door. Steve went after him.

"You remember the story we told you," Clint said. "This is Iron Man." He pointed to Tony. "Hulk." To Banner. "And Captain America and Thor are outside." He gestured out the window.

"You put the rocket into space!" Lila cried, looking at Iron Man.

"Finally! Somebody remembers!" Tony exclaimed.

"Where's Thor?" Nat asked Steve when he came back inside.

"He said he needed to follow up on something," Steve answered. "Clint really has kids?"

"Yea."

"And his wife is really dead?"

"Yes. Killed in the battle of New York in 2012."

"Wow."

Steve looked genuinely sorry at this point.

"Make yourselves at home," Clint said then.

"Don't mind if I do," Tony replied, going to the couch. Banner and Steve went to clean up and change. Nat sat at the table, and Lila sat on her lap.

"I missed you," she said.

"I missed you too," Nat replied, hugging her tightly. The image of her dead was hard to shake. Cooper had given her a nod but went to be by himself. Nat knew she had some work to do with him. She just hoped she wasn't too late.

...

After Fury left, the team got ready to leave again. Nat had hoped to stay a bit longer, but they had to stop Ultron before it was too late, and he was working very fast. She found Clint in his room getting ready.

"I think Cooper is mad at me," she commented. She sat on the edge of his bed, watching him.

"He'll be all right," Clint replied. "He's my quiet kid. He doesn't say much on a good day."

"I think I hurt him, though."

"He still asks about you and where you are, so if he was that mad, he wouldn't care right?"

"I guess."

"When this is over, you'll have plenty of time to make it up to him, to both of them," Clint promised. Natasha nodded. She wanted to. She stood and hugged him then, putting her face against his chest. His heartbeat was soothing to her.

"Hey, whoa," Cassie said, stopping outside in the hall and seeing them. "When, uh...when did that happen?"

"When did what happen?" Clint asked, playing dumb.

"This. That," she pointed.

"What? Hugging? I believe it's been around since the beginning of time," Clint answered, releasing Nat at this point.

"No, no, no," she said. "You're together."

"Together how?"

"You are!" Cassie crowed. "I knew it!"

"Just tell her," Nat laughed. "Stop torturing her."

"It's very recent," Clint explained to his sister. "And nobody else knows, so shut it."

"Mum's the word," Cassie promised, zipping her lips.

"Take care of the kids. I'll be back soon," Clint said, hugging her then. Cassie gripped him tightly.

"Be safe," she said. "Don't make me an orphan and an only child."

"No pressure," Clint joked. She jabbed him in the ribs then, and he laughed, tousling her hair.

"Hey!" she cried, annoyed, but she smiled all the same. They walked downstairs together, and got ready to leave.

"Please come back," Lila said to Nat as they hugged.

"I will."

Nat looked at Cooper, who was watching her. He didn't say anything, but he did let her hug him.

"I'm sorry," she said to him.

"Don't die," he replied, looking at her seriously.

"I'll do my best," she said back.

"Showtime!" Tony called, going out first. Steve and Banner followed. Clint and Nat were last. She took one last look at the house and the two kids watching at the door, and she hoped to God she would be coming back.


	12. Home We'll Go

**ATTENTION: I am posting 5 chapters at the same time. Please read this one first before reading the others. I did it this way because I have worked hard all week to finish this story, and I don't want to make you wait for updates.**

**Happy reading!**

* * *

"TASHA!" Clint bellowed as Nat slid out of the jet. Ultron had a hold of her, and he wasn't letting go. Clint felt a rage inside of him at this point. He was so done with this violent robot.

"Cap, do you have eyes on Nat?" he asked.

"Get the package to Stark!" Steve shouted back. "Get out of here. Go!"

"Do you have Nat?" Clint asked again.

"Barton, go!"

Clint knew that if he didn't, Nat would beat him up later for blowing it. He had to trust that she'd be all right. He'd find her. Dr. Cho had explained how important this thing was, and they needed to get it to Tony and Banner now. He flew off hoping that Nat had somehow escaped.

...

Natasha sat alone in her cell, thinking. Ultron had finished his speech on meteors and how everyone would look up in horror because of the Avengers. Then a bigger version of himself killed his smaller version before leaving her alone.

Now, she was able to use the tools in front of her to send a message in Morse code. She hoped Clint would get it. She knew he was very resourceful and would be on the lookout for any communication right now. She wouldn't stay trapped there, and she certainly wasn't going to die there.

She was going to live up to her promise and come home to Lila and Cooper.

...

Clint wasn't too happy to be working with the Creepingtons (a.k.a. Wanda and Pietro), but it was what it was. He had felt smug when he shot the glass out from under Pietro just to show him he wasn't entirely invincible. Dr. Cho explained what Ultron was trying to do with the body that was in the package Clint had brought Tony. There was an argument about it until Thor came and brought it to life, thus creating Vision. Thor explained about the infinity stone, the mind stone. Clint went off to try to listen for a message from Nat again because some of this information was lost on him. When he heard her Morse code, he smiled to himself.

"Gotcha."

...

A noise made Natasha look up to see Clint standing outside her cell door.

"Well, it's about damn time," she commented, grinning.

"Traffic was bad," he said, picking the lock.

"I didn't realize there would be so much air traffic," she replied.

"Oh, so much. Could barely see for airplanes and jets," he smirked.

"I don't think that's working," Nat pointed out. Clint sighed and stood up.

"You're right," he nodded. He pulled out a gun and shot it, making the door swing open.

"That'll do it," she grinned.

"Everyone's here," Clint started. "We're gonna light this place u-"

Nat had cut him off with a sudden, tight hug. He hugged her back, breathing her in and feeling relieved she was okay.

"Thank you," she said.

"We couldn't save the world without you," he told her. "You'd never let us hear the end of it."

"You're damn right."

"Oohh, Steve is gonna make you eat soap. That's two swears in less than five minutes."

Nat laughed and kissed him then, gripping his face with her hands.

"I'm glad you're okay," Clint said once she stepped back.

"Me too."

"Come on," he urged, taking her hand in his and leading her out of there after handing her the gun. He preferred his arrows. They were met with flying Iron Legion bots, and they started to take them down one by one. The one twin, Pietro, was zipping around all over the place. Clint begrudgingly started to like the guy even though he was still annoyed at Pietro's common phrase, "You didn't see that coming?" When Clint went to kill a bot and Pietro beat him to it, Clint muttered to himself.

"What?" Nat asked, hearing him say something.

"I could end him, and no one would know," Clint said louder. "I'd say Ultron sat on him."

"Clint," she admonished, but there was a smile to her lips.

"Cocky son of a..." Clint trailed off as he fired his arrow at another bot. They soon came across Wanda, the woman who had messed with Nat's mind, crying and emotional. She hid herself behind a wall to try to calm down. Clint went to talk to her, and she indicated she felt responsible for all of what was happening.

"Look, every one of us is responsible," he said, his hand on her shoulder. "It doesn't matter. What matters now is we are fighting a bunch of robots on a flying city. If you want to stay here, fine. I'll send your brother to find you. If you want to fight, then you fight to kill and save these people. You'll be an Avenger. I have to get back out there now because it's my job. Okay?"

Wanda just stared at him, so he patted her shoulder.

"Okay. Good talk."

He found Nat taking down more bots by herself.

"She good?" Nat asked.

"No idea. Come on," he replied. They worked their way forward until they reached Steve.

"How are we looking?" Nat asked.

"Not good," Steve answered.

"Stark's looking to blow this rock," Clint explained to Nat.

"Not until everyone is off it," Steve interrupted.

"So everyone up here versus all of those people down there? That doesn't make sense, Steve," Nat said.

"I'm not letting anyone die on this rock, you hear me?" Steve said back.

"That's good," Fury's voice said as he came into view. "I like a man with a plan."

"Fury. I'll be damned," Steve commented.

"Wow. Where's my bar of soap?" Fury asked, pretending to look in his pockets. Steve rolled his eyes in response.

Lifeboats started to come over, and Nat and Clint moved to start loading people onto them.

"You wanna take care of Bruce?" Steve asked Nat when Hulk came into view.

"Got it," Nat said, hurrying over to him and starting her lullaby process. It got interrupted, though, when Ultron showed up and started firing at them.

Now Clint had gone to get a boy who was missing according to the boy's family member. He had the boy in his arms, and when Ultron started firing, Clint knew they were most likely going to die. He turned to shield the boy, bracing himself, but the bullets never came. He turned to see Pietro standing there with bullet holes in him.

"What? Didn't you see that coming?" he asked. Then he collapsed, dead.

"Clint!" Nat shouted, rushing over. She had seen the whole thing. "Are you okay?"

"Yea, I'm fine."

The boy ran to his family, and Clint sat down beside Pietro, looking at him. He felt terrible inside.

"Let's get him on the lifeboat," Nat said. "So Wanda can bury him properly."

"Yea," Clint agreed. They lifted Pietro together and set him down away from the people.

"He wouldn't have done it if he didn't care," Nat said to Clint.

"What do we do now?"

"Thor and Tony are working on something. I guess we wait," Nat answered. She didn't see any sign of Banner after he beat Ultron away and jumped into a jet. She wondered if he took off. The lifeboat then started to move back to Fury's floating ship. After a few moments, the floating city was obliterated.

Then they made their way back down to the ground.

"Pietro," Wanda said, crying as she found Clint and Nat standing next to Pietro's body. Clint had to look away as she held onto her brother and cried.

"Come on," Nat said to him. "Let's go home."

"You're coming with me?" he asked, surprised.

"I am," she answered. "I made a promise."

Clint didn't know what to say. He put his arm around her as they walked, not caring who saw.

"Where are you two going?" Fury asked, seeing them. He raised a brow at Clint's arm around Nat.

"Home," Clint answered.

"You too, Natasha?"

"Yes," she answered. "I finally have somewhere I belong, and I don't want to risk losing it."

"I see," Fury nodded slowly. "This surprises me."

"It surprises me too, but I'm doing it."

"So you're both retired now, I'm assuming?"

Clint looked at Nat. Was she really going to retire? He had not expected that.

"I am," Nat confirmed, looking at Fury.

"I technically still am retired," Clint pointed out. Fury gave a small chuckle.

"Well, didn't I say this would work out well for you?" he asked Clint. Nat gave him a surprised look.

"It did," Clint answered. "More than I ever expected."

"Good luck to you both," Fury said. "Thank you for everything. Go live life."

"Thank you," Nat smiled. "Take care, Fury."

They walked away together, and Nat wondered if she would ever see Fury again.

"You're really retiring with me?" Clint asked when they were out of earshot. They stopped walking for a moment.

"I know it seems out of the blue, but I've been thinking nonstop about Lila and Cooper and me potentially never coming back home because I risked my life one too many times. If I'm doing this, I'm doing it the right way. No more missions. No more undercover. Just you and me and our kids."

"Our kids?" Clint asked, his tone a little bit teasing.

"You know what I mean," she answered, nudging him. "They feel like my kids in a sense. I know it's stupid..."

"It is so not stupid," Clint cut her off, tucking her hair behind her ear. "It's wonderful."

"I love you," she blurted out. When his face showed surprised, she backtracked. "I'm sorry. That was too soon. I knew better. It just came out. I'll take it back..."

"I love you too," he said, cutting her off. She stopped stammering, looking at him.

"Really?"

"Yes."

She grinned at him, and he grinned back before they kissed. Then they continued on their way home.

...

"Auntie Nat!" Lila called. "Daddy!"

She burst out of the front door and down the steps of the porch, racing towards the two figures walking towards her. She crashed into them both, hugging them together. Cooper was standing on the porch, watching.

"I knew you'd come back!" Lila cried, taking Nat's hand into hers as they walked towards the house.

"I promised," Nat nodded.

She stopped in front of Cooper while Lila continued on inside with Clint, who found his sister and started talking with her about what happened.

"Hey, you," Nat said.

"Hey."

"I'm sorry I left," she started.

"But you came back," he interrupted. "That's what really matters."

She smiled at him, knowing he had a point.

"Are you going to leave again?" he asked. She inhaled and exhaled slowly.

"Not unless I absolutely have to," she answered. "My home is here now. With you guys."

A ghost of a smile was on Cooper's lips at this, and he nodded.

"Good," he said. Then he turned to go back inside. Nat watched him hug his father, and she knew that they'd be all right. Cooper was all right.

...

Nat opened her eyes in the middle of the night to find Clint standing next to her. She sat up slowly.

"Was I yelling again?" she asked. Her nightmare was slowly fading, but the pain was still sharp. She really hoped they would stop coming.

"No," he answered.

"So you're just watching me sleep?" she asked. "That's a little weird, Barton."

"I was going to wake you up," he said defensively, but she heard a smile in his tone.

"Then what are you doing?" she asked.

"I just wanted to be with you," he answered. "I almost died today, and I just...I just want to be with you."

"Get in here then," she said, pulling the blankets back on her other side. He went around and crawled in behind her, putting his arms around her tightly and burying his face into her neck.

"You had bad dreams too huh?" she asked. He nodded into her skin. "I can help with that."

"How?"

In response, she turned to face him, bringing her lips to his. He responded, and then his fingers were lost in her hair. The moment built slowly. It was a moment between them that Nat would never forget, and she was more than glad that she had been brave enough to accept his love and return it with hers.

She was finally home.


	13. Dear Agony

****ATTENTION: I have posted 5 chapters at the same time. Please read chapter 12 first before reading this chapter!****

****Thank you.****

* * *

**2016**

"I'm eight!" Lila cried, bouncing.

"Hold still," Nat laughed. She was trying to braid the girl's hair, but Lila was way too excited.

"You're finally here for my birthday," Lila went on.

"I sure am."

It was something Nat had been looking forward to. Cooper's was in the next month.

Clint was downstairs finalizing things before the party started. Lila's friends were coming over. Cassie was there to help as per Clint's request. She was better at handling ten excited girls than Clint was. Nat was about to find out if she could handle it.

"They're here," Cooper said in the doorway.

"Thanks," Nat replied. She did the finishing touches on Lila's french braid and released her. Lila was gone in a flash. Nat made her way downstairs where five of Lila's friends were already there chattering with her in the living room.

"Oookay," Clint said, appearing next to her. "I'm already in crisis mode."

"Why?"

"I forgot the cake," he winced.

"How could you forget the most important thing for a birthday party next to the birthday girl?" Nat asked.

"I know, I know. I just gotta pick it up. Will you be okay with Cass if I go?"

"Yes, we'll be fine. Go."

"Thank you," he said, kissing her cheek and rushing off. Nat smiled. Things between them were still good. She no longer slept in the guest bedroom. Lila and Cooper knew they were in a relationship, and no one was more excited than Lila. Nat still thought about Fury and the Avengers from time to time, but she had to admit that she was okay with the domestic life. She even got a job helping out the elderly in town do their shopping and chores around the house. She loved interacting with them. They remembered absolutely everything she told them and always asked questions about her life.

"Whew," Cassie said, coming in and wiping her brow. "Tough crowd. I'm starting the games."

"Okay," Nat agreed. The rest of the girls had arrived, and Cassie got them into a circle on the living room floor. Nat watched as Cassie had them pass around a gift that was to be unwrapped by the person holding it when the music stopped. Nat enjoyed this version of musical chairs. It was different.

"I'm going outside for a bit," Cooper said. "Call me when it's time to do lunch."

"Okay," Nat nodded. Off he went with his book in his hand. She had gotten him into the Narnia series, which he was enjoying.

Clint returned less than an hour later, holding the cake box in his hands as he came in.

"Just in time," Nat said. The clock was close to noon. She was heating up the barbecue to cook the burgers.

"We're all good," Clint sighed happily. He set it on the counter and went over to her, putting his arms around her from behind. "You look all good over here too." He kissed her neck.

"Ha, ha," she said. "Be useful and pass me the meat."

"You got it," Clint replied, releasing her and doing so. "Where's Coop?"

"Reading in his tree house."

"I'll call him in."

Nat felt happy. She didn't think she could feel this happy, but she did. They did lunch, and Lila got sung to as Clint walked her cake over to her. Nat took pictures, and Cassie kept everyone in order. This was perfect.

But Nat just kept having this niggling feeling that it was too good to be true, that something someday was going to take it all away from her. It was a feeling she just could not shake.

**2018**

The last two years were fairly uneventful. Nat and Clint grew closer together. They went on family vacations. They went on vacations alone. One time, Nat thought she saw Fury in the shadows, watching, but he was gone when she looked again. She hadn't heard much from the team. There were whispers that Steve had found Bucky, and he and Tony had fought so badly they almost killed one another. Now, they weren't speaking. Nat had a difficult time believing that. The Steve she knew was never one for keeping a fight going any longer than it needed to. Then again, Tony could be one to, which would leave Steve powerless to change it.

"I'm off," Clint said, finishing the last button on his plaid shirt. Nat watched from bed. She tucked her short, blonde hair behind her ears.

"Have a good day at work," she said.

"You too."

He gave her a lingering kiss, and Nat was half tempted to pull him back into the bed and forget about the world for a while.

"Save it for later," he said, knowing she was thinking it. She smiled, and he smoothed her cheek with his thumb briefly before walking away. Nat felt Bella jump into bed with her once Clint was gone, and she reached to pet the cat lazily. A small part of her missed action and fighting, but the rest of her felt grateful that she had this nuclear family life. Cooper was 12 now, and Lila was 10. They were old enough to look after themselves, which made Nat miss the times when they needed her to make them a sandwich or play make believe. She thought about her conversation with Clint the night before.

"You know," he had said, touching her side. "We could have another mini us running around here if you wanted."

She had swallowed, knowing it was time to tell him the truth.

"There is nothing more I'd love to have than our child running around us in circles," she had replied. "But...it's not possible."

"Oh, I think it is," he had laughed, teasing. He had kissed her then.

"I'm serious," she had said, pulling away. He had frowned, thinking.

"Why not?"

"They did something horrible to me," she had whispered, her hand automatically reaching for that empty part of her she thought about often. Clint's eyes had followed her hand, and then he had looked back at her.

"No," he had said.

"Children were a distraction," she had explained. "Taking that away made it sure that my focus would always primarily be the mission."

"Oh, Tasha."

"I'm so sorry," she had cried. He had held her tightly to him, assuring her that he still loved her no matter what.

Her cell phone rang then, and she was brought out of her memory. She reached for it, looking at the screen.

"Steve?" she said. His voice was cut out and choppy. She couldn't hear him at all. She sat up in bed quickly. "Steve?!"

Then he was gone. She stared at her phone, wondering what he had wanted. They hadn't been in contact since she had retired. She got out of bed and padded to the kitchen, thinking.

She hoped he was all right.

...

Clint was smiling as he looked at it.

"It's perfect," the clerk was saying.

"Oh, it's more than perfect," Clint corrected. "It's The One."

The clerk brought the ring out for him to look at better, and Clint knew it was the ring he'd put on Nat's finger when he proposed to her. They had been doing well for the last two years, and he felt it was time to make that next step.

"Wow, that is really nice," another patron said, stepping closer.

"Lots of other rings around here, pal," Clint commented, giving the man a look. The man backed off, going in search of something else. Clint followed the clerk to the till to pay for it.

"She's one lucky girl," the clerk said, smiling at him.

"No, I'm one lucky guy," Clint said. "Thanks."

He walked away feeling a glow in his chest. Now he just had to figure out the perfect time to ask her.

...

That evening, Clint made dinner for Lila and Cooper. It was still light outside, so they were out there enjoying the sunlight afterwards. Lila was practising shooting with her real bow and arrow, and Cooper was supervising. Clint thought about the ring sitting on his dresser underneath his shirt. He knew he had to move it and soon, but he needed to figure out a good hiding place that Nat wouldn't find. She was extremely good at deductive reasoning and finding things, which came in handy at times and also sucked when he was trying to surprise her. More than once she would find out his plans, pretend to be excited, and then immediately admit she knew about it while looking all sheepish and apologetic and so damn adorable.

"Dad?" Cooper said, snapping him back to the present.

"Yea?"

"I feel weird."

"Feel weird how?" Clint asked, concerned.

"I...I don't know."

"Coop..." Clint said as his son seemed to start disintegrating in front of his eyes. Cooper looked terrified.

"Dad!" he shouted right before he disappeared.

"COOPER!" Clint bellowed. He spun to see Lila looking at her hand.

"Daddy?" she asked, the fear evident in her voice. He raced to her.

"No, no, no," he said as her hand went to dust in his. "NO!"

He stood there, heart racing and feeling sick to his stomach. What was happening? What...?

He looked to see his own hands start to vanish.

"Oh no," he said, looking up to see Nat's car coming into the driveway. "Nat..."

Then he was gone.

...

Nat had raced home. She had received a very strange message from Steve telling her to find Clint, that people were disappearing because of someone named Thanos. She had a horrible feeling when she came up the driveway and didn't see any of them in the yard.

"Clint?" she called. She was afraid, very afraid. What were the odds? She ran into the house, searching.

"CLINT?!"  
He wasn't anywhere, and he should have been because he was home before her like always. What was happening? What did Steve mean by disappearing?

"LILA! COOPER!" Nat shrieked. She ran around and around, but no one answered. She ran out onto the front lawn, scanning. There was nothing but a gentle breeze. Then, she caught sight of the bow and arrow on the ground in front of the tree with the bull's eye on it.

"No," Nat gasped. She ran over to it, finding ashes. "NO!"

She turned to see another pile of ashes next to it, and then she caught sight of a third pile of ashes a little ways away, next to the picnic table that had a book on it. She collapsed to her knees, sobbing and realizing that they had disappeared. Her family...gone.

"No, no, no," she moaned through her tears. "Clint...no..." She grabbed at the ground, ripping the grass out by it's roots. She felt anger then and hatred, hatred towards this Thanos, who had taken them away somehow. She had failed to keep them safe. She had lost them forever.

"NOOOOOOO!" she screamed to the sky, the universe. Her heart was shattered into a million pieces, and she didn't know if she'd ever survive it.

...

It had started to rain, and Nat sobbed along with it. She then sat in the window seat, hugging her knees and sobbing as the storm raged on outside. Bella came to her, and she cried even harder. All she had left to remind her of her family was a cat.

She eventually went to bed, but she didn't sleep. She stared at the ceiling, wondering why she was cursed. Was she not allowed to be happy? When she did sleep, it was choppy and full of nightmares. Wanda's vision had come true. Her family was dead.

When morning finally came, the storm had rumbled off, but it was still grey outside. She went down to the porch and stood there, listening. Maybe it was a dream. Maybe they had gone somewhere and just didn't tell her. Maybe they would come up the driveway any second. Then she turned and saw Clint's truck there, and she knew it wasn't true. They weren't coming home.

Around mid-morning, she heard a noise outside. Then there was steps on the porch, and someone knocked hard. Nat's heart leapt into her throat as she raced to answer it.

"Clint?" she said hopefully. Then her face fell.

"I'm sorry," Steve answered. He looked ashen and full of grief. That was when Nat knew there was more terrible news to follow.

"Come in," she said, turning to let him in. They stood in the entrance together until Steve cleared his throat.

"It's bad," he said hoarsely.

"What happened?" Nat asked.

"Since you retired, things have just gotten worse and worse," Steve started. "Thor let us in on the knowledge about Infinity Stones, and Vision had the Mind Stone in his head. This alien named Thanos was looking for all of the stones, and his plan was to annihilate half of the universe's population. He seemed to think it would make things better."

"He succeeded," Nat whispered.

"Yea," Steve nodded. "We almost had him. We were so close..."

"That's why you called me," Nat said.

"Yea. I was hoping you'd come, but I couldn't get good enough reception to get through to you."

"I would have been there in a heartbeat," Nat said.

"I know. It...it's no use hashing out the past and what ifs. It's happened."

"And what are we doing to reverse it?"

"I don't know. I mean, Banner is our best shot at figuring that out. Tony is lost in space. I don't even know if he'll make it back. There is so few of us left..." Steve trailed off.

"Banner came back?" Nat asked, remembering he had taken off in a jet in Sokovia.

"He was lost in space on some other planet until Thor found him."

"What happened between you and Tony?" Nat asked.

"Bucky," Steve answered. "We were already arguing about the Accords and how that was affecting our team, and when he found out I knew Bucky had killed his parents and was trying to protect Bucky...that was the final straw for him."

"I've missed so much," Nat murmured. She felt weak suddenly.

"You lost Clint," Steve noted, looking around and not seeing his friend.

"And the kids. They're gone," Nat whispered.

"I'm so sorry, Nat," Steve said. He went over to hug her, and she accepted. It just made her start crying again.

"We have to get them back," she said thickly.

"We will," Steve promised. "I don't know how, and I don't know when, but we will. I swear it."

Nat just clung to him tighter. She had to believe in something, and right now she believed in him.

...

Nat packed her bag slowly. Steve was waiting for her downstairs. She made the decision to go with him to the Avenger compound and stay with him until this was figured out. She finished putting her things into a bag when she spied Clint's flannel plaid long sleeve shirt on his dresser. She suddenly just wanted to smell him, have his arms around her virtually. She walked over and lifted it, knocking something to the floor in the process. She stared at the small black box and felt her heart thump hard.

He hadn't. Had he?

She knelt slowly, picking it up. She felt the smoothness of the box with her thumb gently before cracking it open

She gasped.

It was the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. Then she started to cry, realizing that Clint had wanted to propose to her, and she had yet again ruined another surprise.

"Nat?" Steve asked, coming in. He had heard her crying from downstairs. "You okay?"

"No," she shook her head. "No, I'm not, and I don't think I'll ever be."

"Oh," Steve said, seeing the ring then. "Oh, Nat."

"I've never had something so perfect, so wonderful," she went on. "This family was everything to me, and I knew better than to let myself be a part of it because look what happened."

"Nat, you didn't know this was happening, and I blame myself for that," Steve said. "But our team was so fractured and split apart, and I didn't know whose side you'd have been on. I should have just called you anyway."

"Promise me that I get to be the one to destroy Thanos," Nat said angrily, looking at him then.

"I'll do my best, but you'll have to get in line," Steve said back. She closed the ring box and tucked it to the bottom of her bag. She wouldn't wear it, but she didn't want it to get lost or stolen either. She knew no one would come to the house except for Cassie...

"Cassie," she said then out loud. She pulled out her phone and dialed. There was no answer, and Nat panicked.

"Who's Cassie?" Steve asked.

"Clint's sister."

Nat tried Cassie's work, but there was still nothing. She called Cassie's voicemail again and asked her to call back as soon as possible.

But Nat had a very strong feeling she wouldn't hear back from her.

"Ready?" Steve asked.

"Yea," Nat nodded. She hardened her resolve. She would get her family back, even if it killed her.

* * *

**I did leave a spot to come back to in the future to add the events of the Black Widow film if I wanted to, but I might not. It depends what the film has to say. Thanks for reading!**


	14. What Become of the Brokenhearted

**ATTENTION: I have posted 5 chapters at the same time. Please read chapter 12 and 13 first before reading this chapter!**

**Thank you.**

* * *

When they reached the compound, Natasha was met by Bruce, who hugged her tightly. He was crying too.

"I don't believe this," he kept saying. "I don't believe this."

Nat couldn't believe it either. They broke apart, and she looked to see Rhodey standing there next to a raccoon. Then there was someone she had not expected to see at all: The Winter Soldier.

Well, she guessed he went by Bucky now.

He met her eyes, and she could tell he knew who she was. She looked away, not ready to deal with him just yet.

"We haven't met," she said to the raccoon.

"Rocket," he replied gruffly. "I'm the remaining member of The Guardians of the Galaxy."

"I'm sorry," Nat said, not knowing what else to say. She squeezed Rhodey's shoulder after they hugged.

"I'd ask where Clint is, but I think I already know the answer to that," he said.

"You'd be right," she replied.

"I'm sorry."

"Fury?"

"Gone. We found his pager, though," Bruce said. "It transmitted something. We're just waiting to see what shows up."

"You think he sent a message?" Nat asked.

"We do," Steve nodded, answering for him. Nat noticed Thor then, who was sitting alone with his head down. She excused herself and went over to him.

"Hi," she said, sitting down next to him.

"I failed," he said simply. "I should have went for the head."

"What?"

"I went for his heart, and I should have went for his head," Thor explained dully. "That's how he survived and did his deathly Snap."

"We'll get them back," Nat said to him.

"You have faith that I have not yet gained," he sighed. She patted his shoulder and stood to take her bag to her room. Halfway there, she sensed a presence behind her, and she spun to find Bucky there.

"Don't do that," she ordered.

"I'm sorry," he apologized.

"Why are you following me?" she asked.

"I want to apologize."

"For?"

"Everything I've done to you," Bucky answered. "I don't know what Steve told you, but I'm not the person I was."

"Clearly. You're not even trying to kill me," she said sarcastically.

"It seems ridiculous, but I was being controlled by some code a mad scientist created just for me," Bucky said. "I followed their orders. I lost my mind. I hurt people. It's why I wanted to be put on ice for a while. I just wanted to stop hurting people."

"Well, thank you for apologizing," Nat said, turning to continue to her room.

"I'm sorry about your family," he called after her. She faced him again, not saying anything before turning around again and leaving him behind.

...

"Something is happening," Bruce said, looking at Fury's pager.

"Who even has a pager these days?" Rhodey asked.

"This guy apparently," Nat commented. While they were examining it, a voice behind them startled them.

"Where's Fury?"

All of them turned slowly to see a blond haired woman in a jumpsuit standing there glaring at them, as if they had made Fury disappear.

"Who are you?" Steve asked.

"Where's Fury?" the woman asked again, ignoring him.

"Dead," Nat answered bluntly, making the woman look at her with sudden shock in her eyes.

"What?"

"Yea. Some gross alien decided to wipe out half the universe. Fury was a part of that."

"Thanos," the woman murmured.

"Again, who are you?" Steve asked one more time.

"Carol Danvers," she answered.

"How do you know Fury?" Bruce questioned.

"From a long time ago."

"He called you?" Steve inquired, gesturing to the pager.

"Yes. I see why now. He wasn't supposed to call me unless it was an emergency."

"So where have you been?" Rhodey asked.

"In galaxies all over. Doing work."

"What kind of work?" Nat asked.

"Confidential work," Carol answered.

"You can go to space?" Steve asked then.

"Yes."

"I need a favor."

"What's that?"

"I think we have a friend out in space somewhere," Steve explained. "They were going to Thanos's home planet."

"I will find them," Carol promised, turning and stalking off quickly.

They all looked at each other when she was gone, wondering what was going to happen next.

...

Carol brought Tony home. Along with him was Nebula, who Rocket knew and was companions with. Tony had reacted badly to Steve and had disappeared with Pepper. Now, Nat watched as they hovered and made plans of what to do next. They knew where Thanos was thanks to Nebula, and Nat wanted to find him and crush him.

"Buckle up," Carol said as they got into Rocket's spaceship. Nat felt nervous. She had never traveled through space before.

"Piece of cake," Rhodey said, eying up the ship.

They all boarded, and Nat sat in her seat tensely as Rocket started the ship.

"Okay, who all hasn't flown in space before?" the raccoon asked. Nat, Steve, Rhodey, and Bucky put up their hands.

"Why do you want to know?" Rhodey asked.

"If any one of you barfs back there, you're cleaning it up," Rocket said. Nat felt a laugh bubbling to the surface, but it died quickly. She couldn't bring herself to feel any kind of joy or laugh at anything lately.

"Fair enough," Bucky nodded.

They took off, and Nat prevented herself from screaming. She could tell Steve was either excited or freaked out...or maybe both. She wasn't sure. When they arrived at their destination, she was more than ready to get off.

Rhodey was a little shaky in the legs when he disembarked.

"You'll get your space legs eventually," Thor commented, seeing him.

"Space legs?" Rhodey asked.

"You know, like sea legs," Thor replied.

"Right."

"Come on," Steve urged. They walked quietly ahead until they found the small cottage. Carol went to dive through the roof, and the others were right behind her. Nat was dismayed to see that Thanos no longer had the stones. He explained that he had destroyed them, and he didn't care if he died because his mission was complete.

That was when Thor cut off his head, leaving them all stunned.

"What, uh, what was that?" Rocket asked.

"I took his advice and went for the head," Thor answered, walking away. Nat felt like she was in a daze as they walked back to the ship. No one said anything. Everyone was very somber after what had just happened.

...

Nat was sitting on the edge of her bed, looking at the ring again. She pulled it out to look at it because she wanted to imagine Clint picking it out, that smile he got on his lips when he found the right one.

"Nice ring," Bucky said. She looked up to see him standing in her doorway. His room was next to hers apparently.

"It is."

"Why aren't you wearing it?"

"Because he hadn't asked me yet," she answered.

"Oh. I'm..."

"Stop saying you're sorry," she cut him off. "I'm getting really tired of hearing people say that to me."

"Tell me about him," Bucky said after a moment. Nat pressed her lips together before beginning to talk.

"He saved me," she started. "He was sent to kill me, and he saved me. He saw something in me, something good. I became an Avenger. I wanted to get rid of all the red in my book, and this gig was helping with that. Then I fell in love with him. His wife had left him, and then she died, leaving him with two children all alone. I realized I had always loved him but knew nothing would ever happen when he was married. Suddenly, there's my chance, you know? And he tells me that he wants me to be in his family, and I want to be, but I'm terrified. What if I lose it? What if they get hurt because of me? I resisted until it no longer made sense to resist it anymore. And here we are." She finished, looking at Bucky, who was looking thoughtful.

"You know," he said. "Your story isn't all that different from mine. Being saved...having red in my book...worrying that people will get hurt because of me. Except I wouldn't marry Steve. He's not my type. Too blonde. Not to mention the fact I'm a chick magnet."

Nat let a small laugh escape her lips at his joke before clamping her hand over her mouth.

"I won't tell him you laughed," Bucky promised. "He can be a little sensitive sometimes." She shook her head.

"I can't laugh."

"You think Clint wants you to be unhappy?"

"He'd want me to figure out how to bring them back."

"And we will, but you can't succumb to the darkness, the depression. It will destroy you."

Nat held Bucky's gaze for a moment until he gave a slight nod and left her alone. She realized that he was right. His story really was a lot like hers.

**Five Years Later**

Natasha was starting to feel hopeless. She was staying at the compound still along with Steve, and Bucky. Thor was gone. Banner was gone. Rocket, Nebula, Rhodey, and Danvers were out in the world trying to find solutions. They were nowhere near close to a solution to bringing everyone back, and it was killing her. When she felt that way, she went to the shooting range.

She fired quickly, reloading quickly and firing again. All her shots hit the target's center.

Shots beside her made her look over at Bucky, who was firing into his own target. They had become friends over the last five years. That was something Nat had never thought would happen. It turns out Steve's best friend is a good guy after all when he's not under mind control.

"Damn," Bucky said, wiping his brow. "Missed."

"Really missed. You nicked mine," she pointed out as their paper targets came towards them.

"Well, it could have saved your life," he said. "So you're welcome."

She rolled her eyes and gave him a look, making him grin in return.

"Lunch time," she commented, putting her gun away and removing her protective gear. Bucky did the same. They made their way to the compound's kitchen where they made sandwiches. Nat sat at the desk, eating hers. She was thinking about the status update from the others who were out in the world/galaxy trying to find a solution. It hadn't looked promising either.

"Well, it seems I'm late for dinner," Steve commented, appearing. "Save any for me?"

"You can have mine," Nat answered. "I'm not hungry."

"How was group?" Bucky asked.

"Depressing."

"Is that why they call it a Depression Group?" Bucky asked. Steve made a face at him, but he had a hint of a smile on his face. He knew his friend was just trying to lighten the mood like he always did.

"I tell everyone else to move on, but I can't," Steve said.

"We can't," Nat corrected. "And we can't give up."

Steve was about to reply when a noise sounded, and a video popped up on a monitor. A man was outside yelling about Germany and Ant Man and getting really big.

"Oh, that dude," Bucky said, realizing.

"Is this an old message?" Steve asked.

"Nope. That's the front gate," Nat answered. The all rushed to answer the door, feeling a fresh blast of new hope hit them in the face.

...

Time travel. It seemed so simple, yet it gave Nat a headache. Scott Lang explained all about his quantum experience. They just needed someone smart enough to figure it out.

Unfortunately, Tony said no.

Nat understood completely. He had Pepper. He had a daughter. Why risk losing all of that?

There was another smart person out there, and they found him easily enough. It had been surprising at first, seeing Banner as a calm, almost nerdy Hulk sitting in a restaurant taking selfies with child fans of his.

But he had said he could help, and they did a test run with Scott, who went back and forth through the time travel thingy (Nat still wasn't good at remembering all the complicated terms) and coming out as either a teenager, an old man, or a baby. Thankfully, they got him back at his right age, albeit with a peed on suit.

That was when Tony arrived claiming he had it all figured out. Nat had never felt so grateful to see him. She knew the risk he was taking, and it meant a lot to her.

Once they got it figured out, they sent Nat back to the farmhouse to pick something up and bring it back. She had grabbed Cooper's baseball glove, and she heard them talking inside, which made her rush towards the house. Unfortunately, her time was up before she could see them, which made her have to sit and catch her breath after.

The next part of the plan was figuring out when all six of the Infinity Stones were in play and how to get them. They broke down a timeline, and they split into three teams. Rhodey, Rocket, and Nebula had returned once they knew of the mission. Danvers was somewhere unreachable, so they had to go without her. Natasha was nervous and excited and a little nauseous. This had to work. It just had to.

They were all suited up.

Steve gave a speech on their mission, urging them to do it right as they only had one trip, one chance. As she and Bucky walked up to the platform together, he turned to her.

"You're gonna get your family back, Natasha," he said. "I promise."

Then they all looked at each other.

"Whatever it takes."


	15. This is My Fight Song

****ATTENTION: I have posted 5 chapters at the same time. Please read chapter 12, 13, and 14 first before reading this chapter!****

****Thank you.****

* * *

**Thor and Rocket **

Thor was in a type of spin as soon as he landed back in his homeland. It was like all of his emotions were trying to burst out of him at once. He stood frozen, staring. The biggest thought of all was: he'd see his mother again.

"Come on," Rocket urged. "Lead the way."

Thor did so, and they stopped outside of Jane's quarters. Thor was very glad it was going to be Rocket doing the jabbing with the device and not him.

The door burst open then, and they moved to hide. Thor's mother walked past, and he felt his heart constrict. His breathing became shallow, and he felt dizzy.

"I can't," he said, gasping. "I can't do this."

"What?" Rocket asked, looking at him. The dude was on the fritz, he could tell.

"This was a terrible idea. Worst idea ever. I should not have come here," Thor said. "My mother dies today."

"Of course it's today," Rocket said. He moved closer to Thor. "Come here."

"What? Why?"

"Just come here," Rocket urged. Thor leaned closer, and Rocket smacked him upside the head.

"Ow!"

"You're not the only one whose lost people, but the big difference is that my family and millions of others have a chance to come back, so please don't screw this up. Pull yourself together, sweet talk the broad in there, and get that Reality Stone so we can bring my family back!"

"Okydoke," Thor nodded. Rocket surveyed him.

"Sweet mother of...you're not crying are you?"

"No," Thor lied, blatantly crying now.

"Knock it off! You got this. You can do this!" Rocket said emphatically. He turned to look at Jane's door, setting up the scene for Thor when he turned around to see Thor was gone. "Damn it!"

He looked back at the door.

"I guess I'm doing this alone." He went inside carefully and quietly. He prayed she couldn't run fast.

Thor was sneaking around when his mother snuck up behind him, making him shriek and then she shrieked in return.

"Your brother always was the better one at sneaking," she commented after they both calmed down.

"I wasn't sneaking. I was just...walking," he said. "In a tiptoe type fashion."

"There's something different about you," she noted. Thor did his best to hide his gut, but it wasn't working.

"Not at all," he denied. She narrowed her eyes.

"The future has treated you very poorly hasn't it?" she asked.

"Now why would you say that?"

"Oh knock it off. You know I can see things without using my eyes," she said.

"All right, all right. I'm from the future."

"And why are you here?"

Thor launched into explanation about everything as quickly as he could. He detailed his failure with Thanos, and he described his feelings and how he had been dealing with it all since.

"You did fail," Frigga nodded.

"That really doesn't make me feel any better."

"It simply means you're just like everyone."

"Oh. But I'm not supposed to be like everyone else."

"Well, how well you succeed at being who you are is what makes a measure of a person, a hero."

"I have missed you so much, Mum," Thor said, tearing up.

Rocket burst into sight, yelling that he got the stone and to get his ass moving.

"Mum, there's something you need to know..." Thor started.

"No," she stopped him. "You're not here to fix my future, only yours."

"But..."

"Hi, Mom, I'm presuming? Ya we gotta go," Rocket said, out of breath at their feet.

"I love you, Mum," Thor said, hugging her quickly.

"I love you too, and please, eat some lettuce or carrots or something."

"But I'm not a rabbit. He's a rabbit," Thor said, pointing at Rocket, who rolled his eyes. That joke was getting old.

"Come on, come on," Rocket urged.

"Hang on!" Thor exclaimed, remembering something. He held out his hand, and Rocket watched with an amused expression on his face.

"Are you reaching for the stars or something?" he asked. "What is this? What am I seeing right now?"

"It takes a minute sometimes," Frigga said back.

Thor's hammer comes flying towards him, and he catches it.

"Yes! I'm still worthy!"

"Great, now let's go before we're busted," Rocket said.

"Goodbye, Mum."

"Goodbye, Thor."

**Nebula & Rhodey**

It hadn't been difficult following Quill. Rhodey thought he was an idiot just from the look of him. It was super easy to knock him out too. Nebula just walked right into the room even though Rhodey tried to warn her about booby traps. She was unfazed and unconcerned, which made Rhodey feel even more concerned. In the end, she got the Power Stone, and they were heading back to their time.

The only thing was that Nebula never made it.

**Tony, Natasha, Banner, and Scott**

"This is so weird," Banner said, watching his older Hulk self destroy everything.

"You gotta blend in," Tony gestured.

"Oh all right," Banner sighed, ripping his shirt off and growling and half-heartedly hitting things.

"You're a natural," Nat teased. Banner shot her a look before making his way to where the Time Stone was. The other three went to Stark's tower where they found everyone and Loki.

"Loki's scepter is heading for the elevator," Tony said to Nat. "Think you can be convincing?"

"You know I'm convincing," she retorted, heading off to intercept them. Tony and Scott's plan was to fire the miniature Scott onto the 2012 version of Tony and get him to pull the pin in his reactor so 2012 Tony would have a mild cardiac dysrhythmia.

It worked, and Tony grabbed the case only to get thrown when Hulk came flying out of the stairwell screaming about how much he hated stairs. Tony coughed and rolled over to see Loki pick up the Tesseract and disappear with it.

"Shit," Tony groaned.

...

Natasha stepped into the elevator with all the men, who gave her a suspicious look. She smiled to herself before talking.

"The Secretary wants me to take the scepter. There's word that someone is trying to steal it," Nat said.

"No can do. I can't give it to you," Rumlow said.

"It's okay," Nat said sweetly. "You can trust me." Then she moved to whisper "Hail HYDRA" into Sitwell's ear.

She had a very triumphant look on her face when she left the elevator.

...

Banner was not having a good time. The weird lady had blasted him out of his body, and he was stuck in some kind of astral form.

"You gotta give it to me," he urged. "Our future is dependent on it."

"If I give it to you, I'm dooming my own reality."

Banner tried to argue with science, but the Ancient One had a response for that too. Banner looked at her projection, wondering suddenly about what they were doing. Then he explained how they would return the stones right after they were taken. That would stop anything bad from happening.

"I can't just give it away," she said. "You might not survive to bring it back."

"We will."

"I can't. I'm sorry. As the Sorcerer Supreme, I have to protect it."

"Why, then, did Dr. Strange just willingly hand it over?" Banner asked, frustrated.

"He did?" she asked, shocked.

"Yes!"

"But why?"

"How should I know? Maybe he messed up."

"Or perhaps I did."

She let Banner go back to his regular self and gave him the Time Stone.

"We are all counting on you," she told him.

"I won't let you down," Banner promised, hurrying off to meet everyone.

...

"What is happening?" Nat asked. She was looking at Tony and Scott, who wore desolate expressions. They were outside now.

"I messed up," Tony answered. "I lost the Tesseract."

"What?! So what do we do now?" Nat demanded.

"He's thinking," Scott answered.

"I'm thinking," Tony said at the same time.

"Thinking is not doing," Nat said angrily.

"Thinking leads to doing," Tony argued. Then he snapped his fingers. "I got it."

"What? Tell me."

"We go back to 1970 and get the Tesseract and new pym particles."

"I like it. Let's go," Nat urged. She handed the scepter to Scott. "Hold this."

"Are you sure it's gonna work?" Scott asked.

"It has to," Tony answered. Then he and Nat disappeared.

...

Nat felt strange walking around in a timeline she hadn't been born in. Tony surged ahead, confident of where he was going. Nat's job was to get the particles. He was getting the Tesseract. She left him to it, and she realized she had to get Hank Pym out of his office before going in to get the particles. She found a way to call him and told him about a glowing package that the mail boys didn't want to touch. When he burst out of his office, she slipped inside. She grabbed the particles and hurried down the hall. When she heard voices, she ducked into a room. She felt like she was going to have a panic attack, but she kept it down. Now was not the time to panic. She had to stay strong to get her family back. She turned to see a desk with a picture on it. Frowning, she stepped closer to it. It was Steve. She looked up and saw a woman through the glass, and she realized this was the woman Steve had been in love with for all those years. Peggy. She wished he had been the one to be there to see her. Then again, maybe he would have tried to talk to her. No, he would have known better than that. Nat stepped away and went back into the hall. She got outside and waited for Tony, who showed up after a while talking to a man. Nat recognized the man as Tony's father. She watched them interact, feeling a pang inside at how much she wished she could see her father.

Tony hurried over to her after.

"We good?" he asked.

"Yea. You?"

"I'm good."

"Then let's get out of here," she replied, smiling. There was still hope that this was going to work after all.

**Steve & Bucky**

"Whaddya know, a mountain," Bucky said, huffing as they walked.

"I bet no one else had to climb a mountain," Steve added. They made it to the top where they started looking around.

"Well, well, well," a husky voice hissed. Steve and Bucky both whirled around.

"What the...?!" Bucky started.

"You!" Steve shouted, cutting his friend off. He pointed his finger at Schmidt a.k.a. Red Skull.

"Me," Red Skull nodded.

"So this is where you ended up," Steve snarled. "I thought you were dead."

"If you two are still alive, then it's only fair that I am too," Red Skull commented.

"How?" Steve demanded.

"It seems the stones cursed and banished me here for my efforts of trying to contain the Tesseract. I've been here, guarding an infinity stone and watching others be guided to treasures I can no longer have."

"Hurts, doesn't it?" Steve said, a slight sneer in his tone.

"Enough chatter," Bucky interrupted. "Where is the Soul Stone?"

"You think I'm just gonna hand it over? Please," Red Skull snorted. "It's a little more complicated than that."

"Wait..." Steve said, remembering something, something Nebula had said...

"I'm sure you've got it stashed up your robes," Bucky went on. "Give it."

"The only way you can get the Soul Stone is to pay a price. You see, it has a wisdom that the other stones don't possess. To ensure that you understand it's power, you must give up someone you love. A soul for a soul," Red Skull finished. Steve swallowed hard at this. Of course. Thanos had not returned with his daughter, Gamora. Nebula had mentioned it to him in passing. He sensed Bucky tense beside him, understanding what was to happen next. Steve felt his heart begin to pound. They had to do this if they wanted to undo what was done.

"I'll leave you to decide," Red Skull said, moving off into the distance.

"Wow," Bucky said, running a hand through his hair. "That's quite the wisdom for a piece of rock."

"Bucky..." Steve started. Bucky held up his hand to stop him.

"Do you even think that there is going to be a decision to fight over here?" Bucky asked.

"So we both agree it's me," Steve sad.

"No," Bucky shook his head. "It's not."

"It is."

"No. You have more to give, more to do to stop Thanos. It's gotta be me," Bucky said.

"You've come this far to have your life taken away again? I don't think so," Steve argued.

"Steve, listen to me," Bucky said. The snow was swirling around them, the wind whistling in their ears. "I have done so many terrible things. Nat used to talk about wiping out her red in her book, right? Well, I have shit tons of it too, probably more than her. I've spent too long as a monster unleashed on society."

"Bucky..."

"I," Bucky cut him off loudly, "can still be controlled by whoever figures out the code words to set me off. I am still a danger, Steve. I can still be used as a threat, and I don't want to do that ever again."

"You won't..."

"You don't know that, Steve," Bucky said. "I don't want to take that risk. If I can do this...if I can save the world for once, then I want to do it. I want to wipe my book clean, Steve. Please let me do this." By now, Bucky's voice was tight from emotion. Steve's eyes were damp, and his throat was constricted.

"I can't let you," Steve managed to say. "You're a brother to me. I can't..."

"Don't make me fight you," Bucky stopped him. They stood squared off, the edge of the cliff in both of their peripheral vision.

"If you want it, you have to take it," Steve said, moving to run. Bucky tackled his legs, bringing him down. They wrestled on the ground, Bucky managing to kick Steve backwards while moving to the edge. Steve flung his shield at Bucky's feet, knocking him down. Bucky grunted in pain, and scrambled to his feet as Steve ran past him, leaping off the cliff. Bucky jumped after him, firing off his grapple and attaching it to Steve's belt. They jerked to a stop, crashing into the wall. Steve had grabbed Bucky's hand and was trying to pull him up.

"Steve," Bucky said, making Steve look down at him. "Let go."

"I can't...I won't..." Steve tried.

"Steve," Bucky said again. He gave the slightest of a smile. "It's all right."

"No..."

"I'll see you on the other side. That's a promise," Bucky said.

"Bucky..."

Bucky kicked off the rock wall, wrenching his hand from Steve's and falling. He could see Steve's face contorted, screaming his name. Bucky closed his eyes. This was for Nat, who deserved her family back. This was for everyone else who didn't deserve to die. This was to help right everything wrong he'd ever done, whether it was really his fault or the fault of being brainwashed. This was the end.

...

They all appeared on the platform at once. Nat was giddy with excitement. She had great hope that this was going to work out. It had to. She couldn't bear the thought of never seeing Clint, Lila, or Cooper again, even after five years without them.

"Where's Bucky?" Scott's voice cut into her thoughts, making her look at Steve, who was standing there looking shocked and devastated.

"Steve?" she prompted.

"He's gone," Steve answered hoarsely. He moved past them all, going outside. Tony, Bruce, and Nat gave each other a look, and they went out after him. They found him sitting on the dock, watching the water. They approached him slowly and carefully.

"Steve?" Nat asked again.

"He gave his life for the stone," Steve told them, not looking at either them.

"I'm so sorry," Nat said.

"A soul for a freaking soul," Steve said, slamming his fist against the post. "It was supposed to be me!"

"Steve, he wouldn't have done it if..." Nat started.

"He wanted you to have your family back," Steve cut her off, finally looking at her. "He wanted to bring everyone back. He wanted to right all the wrongs. He wanted to make up for all the red in his book...wipe it clean."

"I'm sorry..."

"I'm not...I'm not blaming you," Steve said, wiping at his face then. "I just...I can't believe he's gone."

"Does he have any family?" Bruce asked. It was a long shot really, since Bucky was from 1945.

"Us," Steve answered. Tony hadn't said anything else. It was true, he did hate Bucky, but he also hated seeing Steve so torn up about it. It was a tug of war with his mind. In the end, he said nothing.

Nat went over and hugged Steve then, who hugged her back.

"I'm so sorry," she kept saying. "I'm so sorry." She knew the pain of losing someone you loved.

"We really have to do this reverse snap, guys," Bruce said, interrupting awkwardly.

"Let's do it," Steve said, nodding. He didn't hide his tears.

"Wait," Nat said, holding him back. "I just wanted to tell you that Tony and I went back to 1970, and I saw Peggy."

"You what?"

"We needed more pym particles, and we had to try again for the Tesseract," she explained quickly. "I saw her, and she had a picture of you on her desk."

"She did," Steve said, processing.

"Yes."

"Did you talk to her?"

"No. I got out of there quickly."

"Thank you for telling me," Steve said.

"Steve," Nat said, putting her hand on his shoulder as he started to walk away and making him stop. "He was a good friend." She had gotten to know him better in the last five years. She knew the friend that Steve had seen in him.

"He was," Steve said hoarsely. "But we can't let him die in vain. We gotta get in there." She nodded, and they all trooped back inside where everyone was waiting. Thor squeezed Steve's shoulder as he walked past. Bruce collected all of the stones, and he put them into the handmade gauntlet. It had been decided that he would be the better person to do it since Hulk wasn't able to be killed, but Thor was still upset about it. He wanted redemption for his screw up for failing to kill Thanos in the first place. Banner assured him he could do it next time before putting it on his hand. Nat waited in anticipation, holding her breath. Banner writhed in agony as the gauntlet formed to his hand.

"Take it off," Thor said immediately.

"Hang on," Steve said. "Bruce, you good?"

After a moment, Bruce looked at him.

"I'm good."

"Remember, you're just bringing everyone back, not changing anything," Tony advised.

"Yup. Got it."

Nat felt bad that Bruce was in such pain.

"All right," Bruce said, breathing in and out deeply. "Here goes. Everyone comes home."

He snapped his fingers.


	16. You Will Be This Legend

**ATTENTION: I have posted 5 chapters at the same time. Please read chapter 12, 13, 14, and 15 first before reading this chapter!**

**Thank you.**

* * *

At first, nothing happened. Nat wondered what would happen anyway. Would there be a big bang? Would there be a flash of light? Banner was on the floor in pain from the entire effort. He was hanging onto Steve's arm now.

"Did it work?" he asked.

Natasha pulled out her phone, finding Clint's number and dialing it. Her hand was shaking, and she felt very emotional.

"Nat?!" Clint answered. "Where are you? What is going on? Why do I remember disappearing like ash?"

"Oh my God," she gasped.

"What? What?" Clint asked, confused.

"You're alive," Nat whispered.

"I think it worked," Scott commented, gesturing.

"What the hell happened?" Clint demanded.

"An alien named Thanos wiped out half of the universe. We just brought everyone back," Nat explained. She left out the part about five years passing. She'd tell him that later.

"Where are you?"

"At the Avenger headquarters."

"I'm coming."

"No, stay there," she urged. "I...I don't want to risk losing you again. I'll be home soon."

"Okay. Hurry," Clint said.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

She hung up, feeling relieved and thankful and happy. Steve came over to put his hand on her shoulder, giving her a nod and a squeeze because he knew how much she wanted them back.

Then, everything around them exploded.

...

Clint did not have a good feeling suddenly. He had finished calming down Lila, who vividly remembered fading away. Cooper was just as rattled, but he was hiding his emotions about it.

"I'm going to go find Nat," Clint said to them. "I think something is wrong."

"Where is she?" Lila asked, following him as he went inside.

"She's at work."

"Like old work?"

"Yea."

He rummaged to find his gear. Lila watched, scared.

"You're coming back, right?" she asked.

"That's the plan, sweetheart," Clint answered, moving to hug her. "Stay here with your brother. Call Aunt Cass if you need her."

Cassie. He stopped in his tracks. Had she disappeared too? He checked his phone to see a text from her asking if he was okay. He replied and said he would talk to her later. He was about to head for his car when a fiery line cut a circle in the air. Clint stopped in his tracks, staring.

"Dad?" Lila called from the porch. "What is that?"

Clint pulled his bow, aiming is arrow at it.

"I dunno. Get inside."

"Relax," a man said, stepping through the hole. Clint almost jumped back from shock. He could see a different landscape inside the circle. He was so confused.

"Who are you?" Clint asked.

"Dr. Strange. You need to come with me."

"Why?"

"The Avengers need us," Strange said. Clint lowered his bow and arrow.

"You know them?"

"Yes. Are you coming or not?"

"I'm coming," Clint answered. Strange went through the hole, and Clint hesitated at the entrance. He turned to look back at his kids, who were staring in shock.

"Today, Barton," Strange said. Clint stepped inside, finding himself in front of a whole group of people. He gripped his bow, bracing himself as Strange made another hole.

...

Nat coughed as she sat up. Her head hurt. Her body hurt, and she was pretty sure she had broken something. A rib maybe. She turned to see the gauntlet lying there, so she reached to grab it before getting to her feet. She sensed something, then, and realized she was not down there alone. When she heard a low growl, she ran for it, barely managing to escape the aliens.

Eventually, she stumbled across Nebula.

"Here," she said, giving her the gauntlet. "I gotta go help them." She could hear something happening outside now. Nebula took the gauntlet, and Nat suddenly had a weird feeling based on the expression on Nebula's face.

"Father," she said into her comm. "I got it."

"Oh, whoa! What?!" Nat shouted. She leaped onto Nebula, not waiting for an answer, and the two of them fought. Nat managed to smack the gauntlet out of her hand, and she had her in a leg choke hold when Nebula managed to break free and kicked her across the chest, sending her sprawling. The pain in her rib was greater now. Nat looked up to see a gun in her face.

She was going to die before seeing Clint again. She couldn't allow that. She was making a plan of attack when the real Nebula and a woman Nat assumed to be her sister, Gamora, appeared.

They got into an argument, and Nat slipped away to get the gauntlet while the bad Nebula was distracted. Then the real Nebula shot and killed the bad Nebula before Gamora could be killed.

"Well, that takes care of that," Nat said, looking at them.

"You better get moving," Nebula said. Nat nodded and took off.

...

"Everyone ready?" Strange asked. There was a chorus of yelling. The circle finished, and they stepped through it, finding themselves on a battlefield.

"Holy shit!" Clint exclaimed.

"Go, go, go!" people were yelling. Clint hurried forward, shooting the enemy quickly as he went.

...

Nat was still running. She had no idea what to do with the gauntlet. One person said take it far away, and another said they had to return the stones. She ended up running from a group of Thanos's creepy looking brutes, and she saw a man in a panther suit approach.

"I'll take it!" he shouted. She tossed it to him, and he ran with it. She swiveled to see so many people pouring through the holes in the air. Her heart stopped when she recognized one.

...

Clint was searching for her everywhere. He hoped she wasn't dead. He had no idea what was going on, but he wasn't about to let that get him killed. He shot his arrows and took down his enemies. Then, he saw her.

"NAT!"

She was already running towards him. Not even caring that they were in the middle of a battlefield, she leaped into his arms and held him tight, sobbing.

"I never thought I'd see you again," she said.

"How long were we dead?" he asked.

"Five years," she answered, pulling back to look at him now.

"Five ye-Oh my God," he said.

"We gotta finish this," she urged.

"I'm right behind you," he promised. They surged ahead, taking down more enemies as they went.

The rest was chaos. They fought. They watched Carol Danvers destroy an entire ship. They saw Steve, Tony, Thor, and Hulk fighting with Thanos. They watched in despair as somehow Thanos got a hold of the gauntlet again.

"I am inevitable," he said, sneering.

Nat grabbed Clint's hand, waiting for it to be all over. He pulled her into his arms, squeezing his eyes shut and waiting for the worst.

It didn't happen.

They both looked to see Tony standing in front of Thanos with his own gauntlet.

"And I...am...Iron Man," Tony said. Then he snapped his fingers.

Every one of their enemies began to disappear. Thanos was last, the look of shock and despair in his eyes. Then he was gone.

"Hurry," Nat said, rushing forward towards Tony. He was propped up, looking at them but not really seeing them. They stopped a few feet away, unsure of what to do.

"Is he dying?" Clint asked.

"I think so," Nat answered. "No human can survive the power of the stones."

Peter Parker landed beside Tony, telling him they had won. He started to cry after realizing what was happening. Then Pepper came and had a private moment with Tony before Tony's light went out on his suit.

"Did that seriously just happen?" Clint asked Nat. "Did we just lose Tony?"

"Yes," she whispered.

_Whatever it takes._

She sank to her knee like everyone else did, Clint following suit. It had cost them, but they had won.

She didn't really know what to feel in that moment.

**A Day Later**

Clint awoke to Nat staring at him. He smiled.

"What?" he asked.

"I just keep thinking you're going to disappear again," she said.

"That must have been very hard on you. I know your biggest fear was losing all of us."

"But I got you back," she said. "I got you back, and the next person who tries to take you away from me will get the same treatment Thanos got."

"That's one of the reasons I love you," Clint grinned, kissing her. Then he remembered. "Hang on a moment." He got out of bed and went to find what he was looking for. He had originally wanted to do it in a fancy way, but now he didn't care. He knew she wouldn't either.

He found it and went back to her. She sat up, looking at him.

"You know I love you no matter what, right?" he asked. "It's taken us quite a journey to get here, but it was worth it. I'll do whatever it takes for the rest of my life to make you happy. You're an essential part to this family, and we never want to lose you." He opened the ring box, and she smiled. He studied her carefully.

"You've already seen it, haven't you?" he asked.

"I never put it on," she promised. "But I did look at it."

He laughed then, taking it out and holding it up while looking at her.

"Nat, will you marry me?" he asked.

"I thought you'd never ask," she answered. "And my answer is yes."

He put the ring on her finger, and she pulled him in for another kiss. Then they went out and found Lila and Cooper having breakfast. Lila was very excited upon hearing the news of their engagement.

"Does that mean I can call you Mom now?" she asked.

Nat looked at her, surprised.

"You want to call me that?"

"You've felt more like a mother to me since I can remember," Lila answered. "I don't really remember my biological mother. I have fragmented memories, but I remember you."

"If you want to call me that, you can," Nat said. "I'll leave it up to you."

"Can I just call you Nat?" Cooper asked. "I'm not ready to call you Mom, and Aunt Nat feels weird now."

"I'm fine with that," Nat nodded. She hugged him too, and he had a small smile on his lips. Clint was grinning as he joined them.

Nothing could ever be so perfect.

**Days Later**

Tony's funeral was a somber event. Everyone was there, and Nat stood with Clint, Lila, and Cooper as they watched Pepper, Morgan, and Happy go down to the water to release the wreath.

"Did you have a funeral for us?" Clint asked Nat.

"No," she shook her head. "Because I knew you were coming back."

"Thanks for not giving up," he said, squeezing her hand. They had spent the last few days in their house. Natasha had explained everything to him after he had proposed to her. She was afraid to let him out of her sight.

"You wouldn't have given up on me," she said back.

They spent the rest of the funeral mingling and talking in hushed voices.

"We're taking the stones back later today," Banner was saying. "Steve's gonna do it."

"I'll swing by," Nat said.

Steve said nothing. He was busy thinking about Bucky. He had had his own memorial service for his friend, but he still felt the pain of losing him.

"Well, this is it," Thor said, approaching them all. "I'm outta here."

"You're what?" Nat asked.

"I've got a ride, and I've decided I don't want to be a king. Valkyrie's got it under control."

"Are you coming, doughboy?" Rocket called.

"He thinks he's funny," Thor smirked. "Take care. All of you."

He turned to leave, waving goodbye over his shoulder before disappearing for good with Rocket and the rest of the Guardians of the Galaxy.

Banner, Steve, Sam, and Nat waited until everyone else was leaving (Clint was going to take the kids home). Then they got to work.

...

Nat watched Steve as he donned the suit and got ready to take the stones back. She could tell there was a resolve about him.

"What are you doing?" she asked him. The others were out of ear shot.

"I'm taking the stones back," he answered. "Remember?"

"No, there's more to it," she shook her head. "You're up to something."

Steve hesitated, looking at her. He knew he could trust her.

"Okay," he admitted. "I'm not coming back."

"You're going to have that dance with Peggy," Nat nodded. "Good for you."

"That's not all. I'm going to find Bucky, and we're both gonna live a normal life, you know? He deserves it."

"I really hope you succeed," she said.

"I will," Steve promised. He took her hand and squeezed it. "It's been a pleasure, Nat."

"You too." She hugged him quickly.

He smiled and released her, going towards the platform. Banner stopped him.

"I did try," he said.

"Try what?"

"To bring Bucky back," Banner answered. "I really tried."

"It's okay," Steve assured him. "But thank you." He stepped up onto the platform then. Nat stood back and watched him go. She was proud of him. When he was gone, Banner counted down and went to bring him back, but nothing happened.

"Wait, where is he?" he asked, sounding panicked.

Sam pointed to a bench that was a little ways from them that had a man sitting in it. Nat just knew who it was, so she hung back to give Sam some space. Sure enough, the elderly man pulled out Captain America's shield and handed it to Sam. Older Steve turned to see Nat standing there, and he smiled. She saw the wedding ring on his finger and knew he had gotten what he wanted. She went over to him while Sam was still standing in shock holding the shield.

"Did you succeed?" she asked.

"In more ways than one," Steve answered, giving her a knowing nod. His message was clear. He had also saved Bucky.

"I'm glad it worked out for you," she smiled.

"Me too."

**Six Months Later**

Nat and Clint walked out of the church holding hands. They had just gotten married, and they were giddy beyond belief.

"Where to, Mrs. Barton?" he asked.

"Anywhere in the world, Mr. Barton," she answered.

"Well, we gotta do the reception first," he said logically.

"Okay. Then we can go anywhere in the world," she nodded.

"Deal."

They laughed as they headed to get their photographs taken. Banner was their best man while Cassie was Nat's maid of honor. They laughed at how much Banner dwarfed them all in the pictures. He goofed off and sat on the ground for some. Then they made their way to dinner, and there was dancing after. Every one of their friends was having a good time. Lila and Cooper were as well. Nat was so glad to be in their family, to make them her family. Clint spun her in a dance move then, and she laughed. It was one of those nights you just never wanted to end. Nat couldn't have been more happy in that moment. She had the love of her life, Lila and Cooper who she pretty much called her own now, and friends that had been by her side through thick and thin.

It really didn't get much better than this.

**The End**

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